French Won’t Keep a GI Joe Trailer Down

Remember that first GI Joe trailer from way back in the Super Bowl? If that got you excited enough to unwrap all the GI Joe toys stashed away in the air-tight acid proof vault in your basement, this new full-length trailer will either send you into convulsions or have you crying for the glory days of the weekday cartoon series.

Either way, GI Joe’s got a new, longer trailer with more footage, more explosions and more Frenchiness. That’s right– since it’s for the French market, this GI Joe trailer doesn’t care if you can’t read French subtitles, because you’re getting them anyway, Sucker.

A hearty thanks to the en Francais website Allocine (which has since taken it down) for bringing this nugget to U.S. attention:

Meryl Streep + Amy Adams = Recipe for TLA

If you’ve been following Andy on Facebook, you’ll know there’s been a real Meryl Streep/Amy Adams love-fest brewing. And by brewing, I mean a rich, blended urban roast of red-haired crushing steeped in the legendary flavor of Streep. Which is so ironic, because no sooner than Doubt hits Blu Ray do we get the trailer for Julie & Julia starring… an unfortunately coiffed (but darling!) Amy Adams and charmingly primmed (and tall!) Meryl Streep… again!

Julie & Julia Follows the story of one of those infuriating people (usually women) who actually have their blog read and monetized (IE– make money). Julia also follows Amazonian charmer Julia Childs’ quest to find identity in becoming both a cook extraordinaire and inspiration to millions. The two stories dovetail as Julia Childs’ success becomes modern day Julie’s as well. The trailer looks kinda cute and stuff, as it should, since Julie & Julia is both directed and written by Nora Ephron of Sleepless in Seattle fame.

Find your Amy Adams and Meryl Streep love fulfilled all over again, right here at AATM:

The Battle for 8th Place

Battle for Terra, has intestinal fortitude fortified by steel brass and titanium, or distributor Lionsgate has the worst marketing and scheduling department ever assembled.

“Battle for Terra“you say? Yeah, that’s the other movie (besides Ghosts of Girlfriends Past– which is also going to be torn asunder) opening up against Wolverine. The one that’s about humans coming to kick alien trash up and down a hospitable planet so they can live on it– the one that’s actually being mostly well-reviewed.

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Snikt! Wolverine Takes Critical Licks, But You Probably Don’t Care

After a number of screenings, reviews are coming in for this weekend’s Summer Opener: X-men Origins: Wolverine… and they’re pretty much what you would have expected from a crown spoiled by two previous X-Men films by Bryan Singer: slightly worse than middling. Which is fine, considering tracking date knows you better than you know yourself and demands a super high probability that most everyone who likes watching explosions in the dark will see this one no matter what critics say. And really, what do critics (present company excluded) know anyway? Nothin’ about the cash drawing power of adamantium claws, a hairy chest and a fanged Liev Schrieber, that’s what.

To read what the country’s most notable critics are saying about Wolverine, only to slap them in their collective faces by buying a ticket anyway, click here.

Nothing says, “Aaaaw” Like a Hangover, a Beard and a Papoose

So The Hangover has a few new character posters out. While they make a half-hearted attempt, none are really funny… except this one. For some reason, Planet Beardatron representative (and Hangover costar) Zach Galifianakis asking “Whose baby is this?”, all while the little dude is papoose-strapped to his chubby chest, made me smile. Ok, maybe it’s not that funny, but it’s funnier than swine flu, so would that it should do the same for you.

Click to inspect the bearded ones Grizzly Adams special to get a feel for what he ate last night, then check out the two additional character posters for The Hangover, which can be found here.

First Look at Michael Myers from Rob Zombie’s H2

Okay, hold your collective breaths because I know you’ve been waiting all week for this gem. Yes, below is the first “authorized” picture of Michael Myers from Rob Zombie’s “H2,” due in theaters in late August. Color me unimpressed and color me still not pining to see this remake. I still believe this is the kind of movie I would watch if I found myself the last person alive on Earth and it was the only thing playing – remarkably – at the cinema, which despite Armageddon killing everybody else, left a theater in working order. Am I making my point?

Click on the image for the full-sized version.

Eli Roth Talks (Too Much) About Inglorious Basterds

On Friday’s AATM show on KVNU, we received a call asking about the insanely anticipated Quentin Tarantino film that will have non-cussers in a real pickle when trying to name the title. No, it’s not Inglorious Bast…ages. It’s Inglorious Basterds (that’s not a misspell). Eli Roth, man about town and gore/torture porn purveyor extraordinaire (Cabin Fever, Hostel, Hostel 2) has been speaking mightily about the film in recent weeks. He has a starring role, as a Jewish GI who loves baseball and uses Nazi cranium to practice his swing.

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I Pimped The Hurt Locker Once and I’ll Do it Again, Thank You

The headline about sums it up. I’m turning into a shill.

One of my most anticipated summer films is The Hurt Locker. Between my pimping on KVNU and here at AATM, I’m sold on the idea that while The Hurt Locker is a summer film flying under the radar, it shouldn’t be.

The new poster features an image taken wholesale from an “Oh, ****” action beat in the film, but it’s the screaming quotes along the top that should have you considering sold on seeing this film. The quotes aren’t from the usual suspects of some dude at Fox-TV, BayMoviePh4n36 or even Peter “I haven’t seen a film I couldn’t concoct a pull-quote for” Travers of Rolling stone. These are quotes from the New York Times, Time magazine and the LA Times, which are not only chronologically named news outlets, but legitimate stalwarts in movie criticism… and I’m buying them all trigger, fuse and detonator.

Join me, won’t you?

A Dish on Non-News, (Aliens, Fantastic Four, Daredevil, Predator!) But We’ll Cover it Anyway

Holy Moly! It’s like Christmas morn! Of course, that’s only if your Christmas morn consists of opening a huge, brightly wrapped package from 20th Century Fox and pulling out a single slip of paper that reads, “Rain Check…Maybe”.

For the genre geek fans– there’s some interesting “news” (and by news I mean more like hints and stuff you may already know, just in different sentences) coming out of IESB and a red carpet interview they did with Tom Rothman, the love-him-or-hate-him head of 20th Century Fox Studios. 20th Century Fox holds rights to quite a few properties that receive endless, slobbery smooches from some pretty dedicated fans– properties including Aliens, Predator, the Marvel titles Daredevil and Fantastic Four and James Cameron’s upcoming super-stealth project due this Winter: Avatar.

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Showcase of Shame: The Spirit

You know you’ve got them. Everyone does: Movies you’re ashamed to admit you like, much less own. We’re not talking about those late night movies you watch when no one thinks you’re looking– we’re talking about bonafide theatrical releases that critics pummeled with the left-right-uppercut combo of loathing and disgust. We’re talking about movies your friends pull off your shelf and say, “What the heck/*expletive*!?” The movies you know you’ll be mocked for and unapologetically watch anyway. Some come down the pipe via populist backlash (IE-Titanic). Some are gold wrapped in platinum stuffed in a rusty aluminum box. Some are just plain terrible. But that doesn’t matter. You’re making no apologies and it’s time to kick that shame right where it counts.

Introducing the Showcase of Shame: a weekly spotlight on films we’re not ashamed (er…maybe a little) to say we like in one way or another—in no particular order, of course. Sure, you might make fun of us, but we know you’ve got your own list. And it’s hidden quietly under your mattress.

Read on.

The Spirit (2008)

Director: Frank Miller

Starring: Gabriel “I tried!” Macht, Samuel “Over the top” Jackson and four pretty faces named Eva, Scarlett, Jaime and Sarah.

TomatoMeter: 14%

The Spirit made it’s own bed and slept in it. Unfortunately, when it sold itself as an extension of Sin City, that bed was built out of matches, gasoline and paper plates—and when The Spirit’s campy and comic escapades began kicking in, they might as well have been a BBQ lighter. As a whole, the film suffers from an audience losing cavalcade of Richter scale shaking tone shifts and directorial missteps. One minute the villainous Octopus is chucking a severed cop head (Frank Miller’s incidentally) at The Spirit, the next some goon is being run over ala Wile E. Coyote, complete with tire tracks running from stem to stern.

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