I hate 3D. Dan hates 3D. Roger Ebert hates 3D. Francis Ford Coppola hates 3D, and now, in a show of solidarity, Francis Ford Coppola’s beard hates 3D. You hear that Hollywood?! Keep your damn 3D glasses! This ain’t the 1950s! Well, unless you count the culture of fear spread like putrid mayonnaise across the minds of Americans by the TV and radio political pundits and the government…but that’s another story! Long live Planet Beardatron!
By ANDY MORGAN I’m sure you’ve heard the brouhaha James Grumpypants Cameron started last week by dropping a Cleveland Steamer on the recently released Piranha 3D, whereupon one of the movie’s producers, Mark Canton, responded in kind today with a longwinded email that was equally douchetastic as Cameron’s verbal napalm in his interview with Vanity [...]
There’s a new poster out for Piranha 3D and the sheer silliness of the artwork makes me giddy for August 20th, and, ironically, the 3D format. Batshit crazy fish with razor sharp teeth jumping off the screen and in my face is what 3D was made for and belays the gimmicky foundation of the technology. [...]
The Mayans and Roland Emmerich think the world is going to blow up in 2012 and they might be right, but I’m hoping it goes down the pooper sooner, because Mother Earth exploding might be the only way to halt Hollywood’s dog-in-heat leg humping of 3D. It was announced today the Men in Black franchise [...]
Next to the Star Wars saga and the Indiana Jones films, there was no other movie I loved more in the 1980s than Clash of the Titans. After watching Perseus turn the Kraken into stone with Medusa’s severed head, I was obsessed with Greek mythology. I gobbled up any book I could find at the [...]
First, a warning: Loaded with the stuff eyes love gnoshing, Clash of the Titans should be seen in two dimensions, not three. Filmed top to bottom for a 2D release, Clash of the Titans composition, lighting, effects and edits were created for the unaided eye. As a result, Clash of the Titans retrofitted 3D presentation [...]
From Old School to Elf to Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby and even Land of the Lost (I think I might be one of a handful who actually enjoyed this movie), Will Ferrell has proven to be one of the funniest actors of the last decade. Mark Walhberg is in the same boat [...]
By ANDY MORGAN There are very few movies I completely and utterly abhor. Generally, I can usually find something positive or likeable in a film, even if said cinema is receiving disgust and scorn en masse from most fall-in-line movie critics. I relish the truth that I don’t always see eye-to-eye with most critics and [...]
By ANDY MORGAN Making fun of Twilight fans and bemoaning Stephanie Meyer’s novels and the subsequent movies is almost as easy as drumming up sarcastic jabs about Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton or Miley Cyrus. There’s no effort required. It’s easy. And it’s also out of control. It’s almost as popular to dump on the vampire-werewolf [...]
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Behold the Elder of Beardatron!