Archive for the 'Almost News' Category

Join Us on the KVNU For The People Movie Show Tonight!

Published by Andy on January 15, 2010 in Administrative and Almost News. 2 Comments Tags: .

Tonight marks another edition of the KVNU For the People Movie Show on 610 AM (for Utah listeners; our national audience can tune in online by clicking here).  Tyler Riggs, Dan Vinton and I will be talking, amongst our usual hilarious banter, the following topics:

  • What’s New in Theaters this Week (The Book of Eli, The Spy Next Door, The Lovely Bones).
  • Review of The Lovely Bones (click here for my review), Moon and Dan’s take on Daybreakers.
  • Dan and Andy’s Must-See Movies of 2010.
  • Next Week’s Movie Releases (Extraordinary Measures, Legion, The Tooth Fairy, ).
  • This and Next Week in DVD (The Hurt Locker, Moon, Pandorum, Gamer, Smokin’ Aces 2, Whiteout).

The show starts at 5PM MST and runs for an hour. Give us a call won’t you? We’d love to get your comments or take your questions. Call us at 1-800-369-5868 or 1-435-753-5868.

Join us on the KVNU Movie Show Tonight!

Published by Andy on January 8, 2010 in Administrative and Almost News. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , .

Tonight marks another edition of the KVNU For the People Movie Show on 610 AM (for Utah listeners; our national audience can tune in online by clicking here).  Tyler Riggs, Dan Vinton and I will be talking, amongst our usual hilarious banter, the following topics:

  • What’s New in Theaters this Week (Leap Year, Youth in Revolt, Daybreakers).
  • Review of Leap Year (click here for my review).
  • Dan and Andy’s Best/Worst Movies of 2009.
  • Next Week’s Movie Releases (The Book of Eli, The Spy Next Door, The Lovely Bones).
  • The Week in DVD (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Final Destination, The Hurt Locker, Moon).

The show starts at 5PM MST and runs for an hour. Give us a call won’t you? We’d love to get your comments or take your questions. Call us at 1-800-369-5868 or 1-435-753-5868.

Mariah Carey is Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs

Published by Andy on January 6, 2010 in Almost News. 4 Comments Tags: , , , , .

Listen, I think Mariah Carey did a wonderful job in Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire. As a mustachioed social worker who doesn’t believe in make-up or showering, it was convincing and nothing short of strong. It reminded me of Cameron Diaz in Being John Malkovich and Charlize Theron in Monster. And frankly, if it wasn’t for Mo’Nique and Paula Patton’s performances, she might be getting a bit more award consideration in the supporting actress column.

But, BUT, BUT, even so, Mariah Carey is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

Check out this clip of her accepting the award for Breakthrough Actress at the Palm Springs International Film Festival on January 5th. Somebody named Mimi socked back one too many cocktails before her award was announced, that’s for sure. On one hand, I kind of frown and think, “Well, that’s Mariah Carey the diva for you,” but on the other, I kind of giggle when she’s up there buzzed out of her mind, because anyone who has ever been drunk knows how Mariah Carey is feeling up on stage. Something like: Words. Hard. To. Formulate. Can’t. Stop. Smiling. Can’t. Stop. Giggling.

Of course, the fun ended when she hopped into the limo after the awards and snorted coke with her groupies and then joined Nick Cannon back at the hotel for a sweaty, godless Hollywood orgy. Because, as you know, that’s how all those Tinsletown a-holes operate.

Oh, I kid. I love Mariah Carey. Check out the clip below.

Three Smokin’ Hot Reasons Iron Man 2 will Rock

Published by Andy on December 6, 2009 in Almost News and Images. 5 Comments Tags: , .

Forget the special effects, Robert Downey Jr., Don Cheadle, Gwyneth Paltrow and Mickey Rourke. Forget that Iron Man was the best comic book movie not named Batman Begins or The Dark Knight to hit theaters since Spider-Man 2. If you need three sexy reasons to see Iron Man 2 on May 7, 2010, just check out Scarlett Johansson’s snapshots below. She plays Natasha Romanoff, a.k.a. Black Widow. All I can say is Ryan Reynolds is one lucky bastard.

Devin Faraci’s Twilight Tantrum is Hilarious!

Published by Andy on December 2, 2009 in Almost News and Offbeat and Odd. 5 Comments Tags: , , , , .

breakingdawnI haven’t read one word of Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight series, but I have seen the movies and they’re nothing special. I have read two pages of Meyer’s novel, The Host, and I thought it was absolute poop. Not just poop, in fact, but cat poop, which is the worst. At any rate, I’m not going to start banging the I-Hate-Twilight drum, because I also refuse to jump on it’s sibling, the I-Dry-Hump-Twilight bandwagon. I prefer to stay Switzerland on this topic.

Devin Faraci of CHUD.com isn’t so neutral on the subject of Twilight and especially the last novel of the series, Breaking Dawn. Faraci is a highly-regarded member of the online film community and is definitely a lightning rod with his succinct and oftentimes scathing opinions. However, if you happen to agree with him, he is pretty damn funny.  And while I won’t take pot shots at Meyer’s Mormon religion like Faraci does, I will agree with him that she is a terrible writer. I tip my hat to her on the success she’s had, but pound-for-pound her stories and her ability are questionable. Frankly, I think Meyer’s success can be attributed to the brainless buying many in our society do on a daily basis. If something has buzz and is ranked high on a list it must be good and worthy of my hard-earned dollars. Right? Wrong.

Back to Faraci – here’s one of my favorite paragraphs in his Breaking Dawn beatdown:

The baby in Bella’s belly starts growing incredibly fast. And it starts hurting Bella, as each kick it gives has the super strength of a vampire behind it. As it grows, Bella gets sicker, and then the good stuff starts. The baby kicks so hard it breaks Bella’s ribs and then severs her spine. Are you imagining Kristen Stewart wearing a fake pregnancy belly and pretending to have been suddenly crippled by her own fetus? Because I am and it’s making me laugh and laugh and laugh.

He continues:

Once the baby is out, Bella gets vamped by Edward, as she’s about to die at any moment. Then comes the most astonishing turn of events in 21st century literature, and possibly in the entire history of awful fiction aimed at tweens: Jacob the werewolf, who has been madly in love with Bella, sees the new baby girl and immediately imprints on her. What this means, in layman’s terms, is that he falls in love with the baby.

I want to pull this out on its own: Jacob falls in love with a baby.

You can read the full text of Faraci’s scathing rant here, but what do you think? Have you read Breaking Dawn? From what I gather it’s the least favorite book amongst the Twihards. Or, are we all heartless bastards? If so, please, enlighten us.

NASA Wants You to Calm Your Ass Down

Published by Andy on November 12, 2009 in Almost News and Coming Soon. 31 Comments Tags: .

planet-x2012 hits theaters this Friday and NASA’s a little worried folks might go cuckoo and get a little antsy and David Koresch-ey with images of Yellowstone blowing it’s stack, Los Angeles sliding into the Pacific Ocean and the White House getting bulldozed by an aircraft carrier. I know, it puckers my bum also, but the all-knowing men of science want anyone getting sweaty pits about 2012 to take a deep breath and just keep living. Here is an excerpt from their Q&A -

Q: What is the origin of the prediction that the world will end in 2012?


A: The story started with claims that Nibiru, a supposed planet discovered by the Sumerians, is headed toward Earth. This catastrophe was initially predicted for May 2003, but when nothing happened the doomsday date was moved forward to December 2012. Then these two fables were linked to the end of one of the cycles in the ancient Mayan calendar at the winter solstice in 2012 — hence the predicted doomsday date of December 21, 2012.

Currently, 2012 holds a 38% percent rotten rating on RottenTomatoes.com. We’ll have a review for you on Friday.

Twilight’s No Name Actress Wants You to Say No to Fur

Published by Andy on November 10, 2009 in Almost News and Images. 11 Comments Tags: , , , , .

41835203Do you know who Christian Serratos is? Wait, let me answer for you: no.

I didn’t either until she bared her booty for PETA in a Twilight-esque advertisement speaking out against wearing fur. According to IMDB.com, Ms. Serratos portrayed Angela Weber in Twilight and is slated to reprise the role in next week’s The Twilight Saga: New Moon and June 2010’s The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. According to The Twilight Saga Wiki, Angela becomes a good friend to Bella after her depression in New Moon. Looks like Serratos/Angela has shown her new moon, as well!

Ba dum dah! Ching! Thanks, I’ll be here all week.

Personally, I’m not a fan of PETA and its tactics, but I do think wearing fur is a tacky fashion choice. As far as this ad goes, well, you have to hand it to PETA for milking Twilight to their advantage. I’m sure it won’t hurt Ms. Serratos to bare her airbrushed derriere either. Probably the only one fuming about this is Stephanie Meyer. Perhaps Oprah will bring this up when she chats with Stephanie Meyer this Friday on her show. I doubt it, but you know Meyer’s Mormonism, politics and possibly gay and lesbian issues are likely on tap.

Either way, click for Christian Serratos PETA ad. It’s just a bare butt, but still, probably NSFW.

Two Wolfman Posters Online – One Hairy, One Dumb

Published by Andy on November 9, 2009 in Almost News and Posters. 6 Comments Tags: , , , , .

Saw these new posters for February 2010’s The Wolfman today and I thought I’d share the goodness with AATM readers. As we’ve chronicled in previous posts, The Wolfman is a remake of the 1941 classic and stars Benicio “My Wolf Hair is not Make-Up” Del Toro (Things We Lost in the Fire), Anthony Hopkins (Beowulf), Emily Blunt (Sunshine Cleaning) and Hugo Weaving (V for Vendetta). And while the most recent trailer is pretty sweet, I’d say I’m 50/50 on these posters. The hairy face one with Del Toro as the title character isn’t too bad, but the second is pretty lame. Sure the title gives it away, but if I didn’t know better, I’d assume Emily Blunt was hiding in the woods fearing a fierce anal probing from The Fourth Kind aliens.

Click The Wolfman pictures below to ginormasize them.

Apaches Finally Coming to the Big Screen

Published by Andy on October 15, 2009 in Almost News. 2 Comments Tags: , , .

apachesLorenzo Carcaterra rose to notoriety in the late 1990s with his second work of non-fiction, Sleepers, about some Hell’s Kitchen youths sent to Satan’s prison for boys and the subsequent changes and justice they mete out against former inmates and guards. You may remember the 1996 movie version directed by Barry Levinson that starred Brad Pitt, Jason Patric, Dustin Hoffman, Minnie Driver, Robert De Niro, Billy Crudup and Kevin Bacon. I never saw it, but Sleepers was a definite page turner. Carcaterra is to New York as James Ellroy is to Los Angeles. His stories are gritty and the characters, most of whom are never black and white – always shades of gray, are usually primed for vengeance.

Apaches was Carcaterra’s first foray into fiction and has been tossed around Hollywood for the last 11 years. The book revolves around some retired cops who take justice into their own hands and lay the smack down a big drug cartel, one that is in the habit of impregnating prostitutes and then using their infants as containers for smuggling drugs. Jerry Bruckheimer has hired screenwriters Sean O’ Keefe and Will Staples to pen the screenplay. No director or release date has been assigned as of yet.

If you haven’t had a chance to read Apaches or Sleepers, you can pick them up at Amazon.com below:

Apaches: A Novel of Suspense and Sleepers, $4.99 and $7.99 respectively.

Happy Birthday Sir Roger Moore!

Published by Andy on October 14, 2009 in Almost News and Just for Fun. 2 Comments Tags: , , , .

roger-mooreYes, the best James Bond ever is 82 today and in his honor, I’m posting Duran Duran’s video for A View to a Kill below.  23 years later and that song is still catchy. Which is good, because the video might possibly make you put a plastic bag over your own head and suffocate yourself.

I have fond memories of ol’ Roger Moore suiting up as James Bond. Some might feel a fondness toward Sean Connery’s Bond, and others might like Pierce Brosnan, Timothy Dalton (the worst ever) or Daniel Craig, and by all accounts, each (except for Dalton) wore the white tux and Walther PPK admirably. But Roger Moore was my James Bond while growing up and part of my first introduction to the world of Bond with For Your Eyes Only, Octopussy and A View to a Kill. But he also played Bond in Live and Let Die, The Man with the Golden Gun, The Spy Who Loved Me and Moonraker. Call me crazy, but that resume seems to tie Sean Connery for most Bond films, so why Connery is always crowned as the greatest Bond is beyond me. I’m guessing it’s just trendy and edgy, like people who claim to enjoy The Beatles and/or The Rolling Stones, or who enjoy wearing berets.

If you want to see a really great Roger Moore movie, check out North Sea Hijack. It also stars James Mason and Anthony Perkins and is quite the tense, James Bond-like thriller. And don’t forget to celebrate Roger’s birthday by watching some Duran Duran below. Now, pass the cupcakes.