Twilight is what it is: Love it, hate it or care less.
I don’t begrudge anyone their love for the series, but tend to hold coats in the “care less” line. The new trailer for the latest entry (directed by 30 Days of Night’s David Slade and chomping at the bit for its June 30 release) doesn’t help, considering it could have easily been used for last year’s New Moon. Has such a simple story ever felt like its climax has been so needlessly strung out? You know, besides Harry Potter?
Bella: I hate my life… wait! Oh, you’re hot. And pale.
Edward: Yes, I am. I’m also a 100-something year old pedophile, but luckily I’m trapped in this teenage body because I’m a vampire.
Bella: –Swoon– I’m so in love with you.
Edward: I love you too. And by I love you too, I mean you smell really good and I want to eat your neck.
Bella: Go for it, but I think some other vampires want my neck.
Edward: No they don’t. I killed them.
Bella: Swoon.
Jacob: Wait, Bella. I love you too… but I’m a werewolf.
Bella: Gross. Wet dogs stink.
Edward: Hey guys, what’s up? I went away for a while but now I’m back.
Bella: I want you in my underpants.
Edward: You sure? Ok. Beat it, Jacob.
Bella: I’m preggers.
Edward: Sweet.
Bella: Here, Jacob. I like you. You can have my vampire daughter.
Jacob: Sweet. I love her.
Bella: Swoon.
THE END.
That said… Cougars, unfulfilled housewives, teen ladies and the handful of guys still in the closet about loving this stuff, your wait is over. Behold the trailer for Twilight: Eclipse.
Is this really anything eloquent or witty I can say about this Iron Man 2 trailer that isn’t summed up by simply saying: Wow? Still, this trailer gives us a deeper look at Whiplash, played by Mickey Rourke, as well as glimpses of Rhodey Rhodes/War Machine (Don Cheadle), Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), Justin Hammer (Sam Rockwell) and Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson). And even though the cast is eclectic and talented and Scarlett Johansson makes me drool, the driving force behind Iron Man 2 will be Robert Downey Jr.’s charisma and charm.
As always, please share your thoughts. Will Iron Man 2 be better than Iron Man?
At this point, nine months out, I’m not sure there’s anything we can say here about Tron Legacy that hasn’t already been said from what little we’ve seen. Andy’s not so hot on Tron Legacy. I think it looks exciting, slick and am chomping at the bit.
Tron’s first theatrical trailer– the one debuted before Alice in Wonderland– has been released to the internet. Judging by the $114 million haul Alice made over the weekend, most of you have probably already seen its combination of adrenal kicking rhythm, crackling energy and uber-fine visuals, but that doesn’t make repeat viewings look any less sexy or thrilling. With Jeff Bridges’ recent stock increase thanks to a Best Actor win, by the time December rolls around and Disney’s hyper-refined marketing machine’s had another nine months to play it up, Tron Legacy should be incredibly high profile.
Long term success will obviously boil down to whether director Joseph Kosinski has made a good movie, but I have yet to see anything that says he hasn’t.
In the mean time, enjoy… or enjoy more by viewing the Tron Legacy trailer in larger, sexier HD right here.
I don’t care for the Prince of Persia video game franchise. I’m not a huge fan of Jake Gyllenhaal (although I did like him in Zodiac) and I’m usually hit and miss with everyone’s favorite guy that once played Gandhi, Ben Kingsley (Shutter Island). So, to say the least, I have not been in the Cartwheel Club for Disney’s Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. From posters to trailers, thus far the movie has failed to hook me. Imagine my surprise when this recently released second trailer for The Sands of Time actually warmed my cold heart just a bit. I still think it’s going to suck, but I’m to the point where I actually want to see it now. That’s a big step for me. Big.
Check out the trailer below and let me know your thoughts. Am I just having a great day, or does this trailer seem better to you, as well?
If anything, the New Nightmare on Elm Street is going to be a great looking schlock-fest. We’ve see the trailer that came out way back in September, but it wasn’t until checking out this new green band I noticed how slick the new Nightmarelooks. Sure, there’s a gooey pile of shots lifted straight from the first, but this one shakes its pretty ass while doing it.
Still, that’s not to say it’s going to be worth recommending. Or will April 30 be the day Platinum Dunes breaks precedent with an enjoyable 80’s horror remake that’s not more interested in being mean-spirited than good?
Weigh in after watching Freddy sharpen his fingernails on both pipes and nubile flesh below.
So you know about this little movie called Kick-Ass: sewer-mouthed kids dressed in bright pajamas and capes who cheerily introduce bad guys to the pitfalls of additional holes in the head/the miracles of modern day prosthesis. If it can get past it’s first-blush head-trip of being insanely crude just for the sake of “we can”, Kick-Ass will be the latest entry in a deconstructive super-hero sub-genre that’s as interesting as it is fun.
With Kick-Ass‘ April arrival sucking all of the air out of the multi-plex, the also-ran superhero flick Defendor may be left in the lurch. The movie stars Woody Harrelson as a “slower than normal” everyman out to avenge his mother’s death. Apparently, it’s part comedy, part drama and part sympathetic character study. Either way, it’s set in the steamy dark alleys of a major city and has Woody getting beat to a pulp.
Of course, Defendor and Kick-Ass are just the latest– not the only– entries into the “real” superhero subgenre. 1999 gave us the love-it-or-hate-it Mystery Men and 2006 introduced us to Special, a hard-knock look at a delusional guy who uses his new “does he or doesn’t he have them” super-powers to fight crime. Another film along the same lines, Super (directed by James Gunn, the guy who gave us the silly, fun and underseen Slither) is due this year as well.
We’ll see how the genre continues to hold up, but with real people in real cities living the superhero dream, movies like Defendor continue to be no less fascinating. Defendor is arriving on Friday in limited release, but with positive reviews coming in, deserves to be seen when it arrives sooner than later in your Netflix queue.
Despite the triumphant return of Tom Selleck’s hallowed mustachio– which incidentally, has been missing from theaters far too long– and Katherine Heigl’s chest, Trailer Tuesday presents to you a movie that looks so lifeless, it doesn’t have a poster yet: Killers.
I’ll come to an understanding of the metaphysical laws of dark energy before ever I fathom Katherine Heigl’s appeal. Seriously. Since Knocked Up, the lady’s screen presence is so blase and nondescript as to being completely replaceable via any other blond actress with teeth.
So, Killers: An oh my dreamy boyfriend turned husband isn’t who I thought he was–he’s a spy!!– romcom-thingy. Killers doesn’t look like it’ll be sweeping the knee of any trends except letting Heigl nail a hat trick of mind-numbingly boring and completely uncharismatic movies.
Watch the blah-ness below– then diagnose why this trailer ruined my Tuesday in our comments section.
Neil Marshall’s a guy whose name most people won’t recognize by name, but by work. The guy’s responsible for the fantastically creepy and claustrophobic The Descent and Dog Soldiers (the good werewolf movie no one’s seen). Sure, he’s also guilty of spawning the craptastic Doomsday, but we’ll consider that dump-fest a pass for keeping his sword sharp.
Apparently keen to revisit the middle-aged themes weirdly introduced int he second half of Doomsday, Marshall’s next project is the dramatic-licensed Centurion. Based on the Roman Ninth legion that went missing (massacred!) during a tour of Britian, Centurion promises all kinds battling, running and Marshall-esque appendage lopping, squishy crunching and gushing blood.
The trailer plays like an alternate universe from Gladiator had the Romans lost the opening battle. And that’s ok by me. You can never have enough sword and sandal epics.
Inglorious Basterds‘ British bullet receptacle Michael Fassbender stars as the Legion’s corporal while the lovely, ex-boob-baring Olga Kurylenko (Hitman, Quantum of Solace) weirdly stars as some warlord lady. Weird because rail-thin models gussied up in war paint and trying their damnedest to swing a sword and look threatening feels less like gritty realism and more like geek-fantasy comedy. I get the whole hotties in barbarian bikinis thing but man, that image playing out in real life is goofy.
Centurion hits UK theaters in April and US theaters who-knows-when. At least you know you’ll see it on Bluray before the year is out. Watch skinny girls scream at their swords because they’re not carrot sticks below:
While Andy’s convinced The Last Airbender will suck, I’m not so sure. Nothing I’ve seen so far has turned me off — opposite, even. Elements battling elements, dudes being thrown to oblivion, world creation and a kid’s skull lighting up like a Tron car. Despite its inherent kid focus (it’s based on a Nickelodeon cartoon after all)… I think it looks cool and will be, at worst, mildly entertaining.
Earlier trailers have focused on the high-flying gee-whizery of the movie, but the latest focuses a little more on story– and I kinda like the direction. Sure, it’s your standard journey of a hero, but I like the Fifth Element-esque idea of a super powerful kid who’s all alone and emotionally vulnerable– in need of a “family” or connection for safe harbor. There’s a fine line there between cheesy and resonant, but judging by this trailer at least, it’s hopefully steering closer to resonant.
Recent story missteps and name poison aside, M. Night Shyamalan remains a skilled, if now finally humbled, filmmaker. I’m willing to give him all kinds of benefit of the doubt on The Last Airbender, namely because this world/universe isn’t his material, so the twist gimmick is probably out on this one.
First impressions of director Kevin Smith’s new buddy comedy Cop Out (formerly known as A Couple of Dicks) have been tepid to say the least. The jokes are obvious, flat, lazy and worst of all, unfunny. Watching the green band trailer was actually boring. Taking part in that two minute experience is like watching the introduction of that horrible Budweiser Super Bowl commercial with the cow breaking through the fence. Cop Out looks like it’s trying, but its trailer hints at a movie that falls completely and awkwardly flat. And that makes me sad.
See, I like Bruce Willis. I even like Sean William Scott and think Tracy Morgan, despite all his 30 Rock love, is OK. Even Kevin Smith, the cutting edge potty mouth turned dull butterknife thanks to his aped success, had me all pumped up with optimism in the hopes he’d use a movie he didn’t write to turn out something fresh. All that good will. Squandered.
And that makes me sad.
So the red band trailer comes along. It’s definitely a step above the green band and takes some unexpected swings but it’s still loaded with the same stuff from the first trailer that didn’t make me laugh.
Recent Comments