Happy Memorial Day!

I just want to wish everyone, especially our men and women in the armed forces – those who have passed and those who still serve, a very joyous Memorial Day. I thought about posting a picture of a big ass aircraft carrier, because that always makes me feel patriotic, but instead I thought I’d leave you with this lovely image. Happy Monday.

Tron Time is Sexy Time

I’m a sucker for visual/art/production design. Which explains why Andy’s correctly dubbed me a Bluray whore and why on Tuesday Pandorum (review here) made off with $20 of my hard-earned stripping dollars, why I periodically revisit the vile Alien: Resurrection and why The Spirit is shaming Spider-Man 3 and Starship Troopers on my Bluray shelf. It’s also why, whether Tron Legacy will be good or bad, I get all slobbery when I think forward (way, way off in the distance forward) to seeing the thing when it finally hits theaters –in 3D, of course– come December.

Every bit of Tron Legacy artwork and image that’s come down the internet fire hose has been super-sexy. SUPER sexy. So I kind of envy the fact Los Angelinos get to ogle an extra helping of Tron Legacy images thanks to Disney’s LA-based Tron billboard. The old-timey (what- no internet?) marketing campaign started in December (above!-click for bigness) and Disney’s since updated the billboard for January (below!). They’ll continue updating every month until Santa comes back. So far, the images have only been shots of the iconic Light Cycles– aka, Neon Motorcycles that grow out of dudes’ asses backs.

Awesome.

I can’t say if, beyond the “apple and Droid had a baby” motif, Tron Legacy as a film will be as invigorating as its design, but that’s OK. I’m happily soaking up the eye candy in the mean time. Join me, won’t you?

(Want bigger? Click to see the larger version at MTV)

Three Smokin’ Hot Reasons Iron Man 2 will Rock

Forget the special effects, Robert Downey Jr., Don Cheadle, Gwyneth Paltrow and Mickey Rourke. Forget that Iron Man was the best comic book movie not named Batman Begins or The Dark Knight to hit theaters since Spider-Man 2. If you need three sexy reasons to see Iron Man 2 on May 7, 2010, just check out Scarlett Johansson’s snapshots below. She plays Natasha Romanoff, a.k.a. Black Widow. All I can say is Ryan Reynolds is one lucky bastard.

Shrek Forever After Trailer in Front of Avatar

DreamWorks Animation is going to try and squeeze another dollar-flavored drip of ogre milk from the Shrek teat this May with Shrek Forever After. All of us will get an early sniff of Donkey (Eddie Murphy), Puss (Antonio Banderas), Fiona (Cameron Diaz) and Shrek (Mike Myers) when the teaser trailer debuts in front of Avatar on December 18^th.

Shrek Forever After reunites the entire gaggle of fairytale creatures from the last three movies, as well as introducing Rumpelstiltskin (Walt Dohrn), who, from what I gather of the plot, turns Shrek’s world upside down and sends him to some bizarre, alternate reality Far Far Away where Donkey is a genius, Lord Farquaad (John Lithgow) is still ruler and Shrek and Fiona have never met.

The question I have is can the Shrek franchise regroup after a disappointing and lackluster Shrek the Third? I don’t know about you, but after relishing in the fresh comedy and spunk of the first two movies, the third movie felt ill-conceived and overbearing. My gut tells me Shrek Forever After probably will follow suit, but one can hope, right? Dare to dream!

More to come once we get our hands on the trailer – hopefully before Avatar hits theaters!

Ashley Greene is a Reason for Dudes to See New Moon

Your a dude. You like the ladies. Your girlfriend/wife/significant other wants you to see The Twilight Saga: New Moon, but you can’t think of anything more excruciating. A trip to the dentist for a root canal sounds better. You’d even rather watch reruns of Little House on the Prairie while having uncontrollable diarrhea. Anything but Edward and Bella.

Well, fellas, say hi to Ashely Greene. She played Alice Cullen in last year’s Twilight and is reprising the role in The Twilight Saga: New Moon and The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. She is amazingly hot and this picture from her Maxim photo shoot proves that fact. So, yeah, maybe shelling out a full-priced ticket for this vampire chick flick isn’t such a terrible idea after all.

Twilight’s No Name Actress Wants You to Say No to Fur

Do you know who Christian Serratos is? Wait, let me answer for you: no.

I didn’t either until she bared her booty for PETA in a Twilight-esque advertisement speaking out against wearing fur. According to IMDB.com, Ms. Serratos portrayed Angela Weber in Twilight and is slated to reprise the role in next week’s The Twilight Saga: New Moon and June 2010′s The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. According to The Twilight Saga Wiki, Angela becomes a good friend to Bella after her depression in New Moon. Looks like Serratos/Angela has shown her new moon, as well!

Ba dum dah! Ching! Thanks, I’ll be here all week.

Personally, I’m not a fan of PETA and its tactics, but I do think wearing fur is a tacky fashion choice. As far as this ad goes, well, you have to hand it to PETA for milking Twilight to their advantage. I’m sure it won’t hurt Ms. Serratos to bare her airbrushed derriere either. Probably the only one fuming about this is Stephanie Meyer. Perhaps Oprah will bring this up when she chats with Stephanie Meyer this Friday on her show. I doubt it, but you know Meyer’s Mormonism, politics and possibly gay and lesbian issues are likely on tap.

Either way, click for Christian Serratos PETA ad. It’s just a bare butt, but still, probably NSFW.

CRANKY MONDAY: Sequel Proves Vampire Fans Will Watch Anything

“Vampires are lame. LAME.”

That’s a mantra around here and one, if we’re being honest, one more people should live by. With it, we’d be free of the embarrassingly self-titled Twihards, Victorian vampire lovers (I’m looking at you pale Goth guy/girl with the black buckles and straps) and the Downs Syndrome “please don’t scream again because I don’t like punching myself in the face” screechers from 30 Days of Night. All the unhealthy life-longing and self-loathing could then be channeled into something more productive. Like… anything.

Hey, speaking of the refreshingly new idea’d, gorgeously shot but agonizingly executed graphic novel adaptation  30 Days of Night– did you know it had an upcoming sequel in the works? A sequel called Dark Days? It’s true. If you vaguely remember, (*SPOILER*highlight the blank stuff to read) the wife lives after her husband, Eben, sacrifices himself after becoming a vampire. (*END SPOILER*) Actually, the whole sequel is a spoiler, so we can’t reveal what it’s about in good conscience. Just know a sequel is coming, it doesn’t take place in Alaska and it has a girl with a big knife she probably uses to cut vampires with. The pic above is your first image. It’s yours to large-ify by clicking.

Image Courtesy SPWAG/Stage 6
Photo credit: Chris Large

It’s the A-Team… Offically

You may not remember The A-Team, but director/writer Joe Carnahan does and, as we mentioned a couple weeks ago, they’re escaping from the Los Angeles underground to make some coin as soldiers of fortune in a theater near you. If you have a problem, if no one else can help and if you can find them, maybe you can call… The A-Team. Until then, you can take a glance at this first official Photoshop of A-Team 2101, which, incidentally, looks like the old A-Team.

Awesome.

* Thanks to CHUD for the image.

Two New Avatar Images Show Us…Nothing

Okay, try not to poop your pants out of excitement, but two new Avatar images have hit the web and they show us…duh duh duh…absolutely nothing. I’m not expecting much, but really? These are supposed to make me excited? Just another shot of Jar Jar Binks lost cat-people cousins.  I wonder if at any point during Avatar they’ll find the dead remains of that blue-skinned, belly-shirted hoot-a-rific Jedi who obviously died on the jungle planet featured in James Cameron’s first motion picture in 12 years.

Okay, that’s my poor attempt to crap on both Avatar and the Star Wars prequels in the same paragraph, so I’ll just shut up now and post the pictures, available in gianormasized versions below (just click the image). Even though I’m snarky towards Avatar, James Cameron – despite being a dick – has a proven track record and I’m sure he’ll be flipping the naysayers the angry bird finger once Avatar beats out Titanic for the top box office spot. And once that happens, despite all my skepticism, I’ll say, “I told you so, a-holes!”