Summer will End on a High Note with Piranha 3D

There’s a new poster out for Piranha 3D and the sheer silliness of the artwork makes me giddy for August 20th, and, ironically, the 3D format. Batshit crazy fish with razor sharp teeth jumping off the screen and in my face is what 3D was made for and belays the gimmicky foundation of the technology. I’m excited for this movie and I think the movie should be a nice capstone to the so-so summer of 2010. Check out the full-sized poster after the jump.

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Gulliver’s Travels Poster is Teaseriffic

Jack Black (Year One) is the white Eddie Murphy (Shrek Forever After). He’s mostly funny, but can also be super annoying. Even worse, his comedic tricks are pretty much the same in every movie, and while that can be said of most comedians, for some reason it seems highlighted with guys like Murphy, Black and Jim Carrey. At any rate, Gulliver’s Travels hits theaters on December 22, 2010 and stars Emily Blunt (The Wolfman), Jason Segal (I Love You, Man) and Billy Connolly (The Boondock Saints). Click below to see the full-sized version.

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New A-Team Trailer and Poster Make Me Giddy for June 11

I didn’t watch The A-Team too much when I was a kid, but I knew the players – Face, B.A., Hannibal and Murdock. In fact, I think I actually had a B.A. Baracus action figure. My point is this – even though I enjoy Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Sharlto Copley and Jessica Biel, The A-Team movie wasn’t on my must-see list for 2010 summer movies. However, after watching the full-length trailer below, I am now circling June 11. The A-Team looks like it’s going to kick ass. And I hope I’m right, because I loved director Joe Carnahan’s brutally gritty 2002 debut film, Narc.

Scarlett Johansson Black Widow Iron Man 2 Poster is Yummy

I just have no words for this masterpiece. Scarlett Johansson is absolutely stunning. Now, can she pull of portraying Natasha Romanoff, aka Black Widow, in Iron Man 2? We shall see. She definitely pulls off wearing that sexy black jumpsuit, that’s for  sure. Also, if you missed the newest Iron Man 2 poster, click here.

Behold the Bland: New Twilight Eclipse Poster is 100% Lame

I’m not a fan of The Twilight Saga, but this poster blows. I know, I know. I sound surprised. I’m not, but if I was a fan, I’d be disappointed. Plus, am I the only one who can’t figure out why Bella isn’t picking Jacob over Edward? I mean, just from the poster wouldn’t you go with the dependable hunk over the pasty-skinned, brooding vampire who is always running away? Seems clear to me, but then girls generally like the douchebags, so go figure. I suppose what they say is true: Nice guys do finish last.

Enjoy the poster. Or not.

Holy Gianormous Toy Orgy! New Toy Story 3 Poster Rocks!

I know I’ve been critical of Toy Story 3 in previous posts, but this poster rocks. I’m starting to warm to the idea of a third Toy Story movie. I mean, it’s Pixar for crying out loud. They poop gold.

New Hit Girl Poster Makes Me Giddy for Kick-Ass

Next to Clash of the Titans, there is no movie in the next two months I am more excited to see than Kick-Ass. In fact, I’d say there’s nothing in 2010 that has me more giddy than Perseus and Hit Girl. I just can’t fathom how Kick-Ass won’t be anything but a stellar success both critically and monetarily. Matthew Vaughn, the movie’s director, is the man behind the slick (but somewhat over-glorified) Layer Cake, and the under-appreciated Stardust. Below is a UK poster of the filthy-mouthed and deadly Hit Girl, played by up-and-coming Chloe Moretz, last seen as Tom’s wise (and filthy-mouthed) little sister, Rachel, in (500) Days of Summer.

Click to biggie size the image for fresh Kick-Ass goodness. The movie hits megaplexes in the United States on April 16, 2010.

“Red Dawn” goodies get you giddy for a Chinese occupation

On KVNU’s Movie Show Friday night, Andy and Dan delivered a brief preview of the biggest movies that will come to theaters (unless the movies, you know, make you think, in that case Westates won’t bring them to Logan) in 2010.

One of the movies they mentioned, the remake of “Red Dawn,” reminded me to start doing a little Googling to find morsels of information about the updating of the 1984 Cold War thriller that made every teenage boy in America shout out in pride, “Wolverines!!!!!”

Here’s what I found:

and…

As you can tell, unlike the 1984 original, which featured the Commie Russians invading the U.S., the update will have the Chinese as the antagonists.

Here is a video that someone posted on YouTube from the outdoor set in Detroit. It shows a lot cool posters and imagery that, presumably, will be seen in the movie.

Red Dawn 2010

The remake doesn’t have any super major name stars as far as I can gather, but that might be OK for a film like this.

The new Red Dawn is scheduled for a November 24 release.

Is This Poster What Bodes For Percy Jackson & The Olympians?

Because if it does, this movie is going to suck.

Movie posters (one-sheets) are a tricky thing. As part of a film’s marketing head of steam, the poster needs to eye-poppingly convey the tone and gist of the film it’s advertising. Sometimes they succeed as art, sometimes they succeed at stoking interest and other times, well… they don’t (I’m looking at your lazy attempts, floating heads).

Not that I’ve been anticipating the upcoming winner of “Bloated title of the Century”: Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightening Thief (I won’t be retyping that again, BTW), but this poster with a bunch of painted snakes weakly Photoshopped on Uma Thurman’s HUGE head is awful. Awful.

I may be a nitpicking bastard, but when I see dollar store crap like this plowing the way for a pretty sizable release, I can’t help but smell a tepid The Seeker or The Spiderwick Chronicles sized opening for Harry Potter vet Christopher Columbus’ next foray into the fantastical. For shame, Fox 2000 and Midnight Oil Creative. For. Shame.

Click to biggefy the travesty.

It’s The Clash–Duh-Duh– of the Titaaaaaans!

You like your movie posters raw and howling? You bet your ass you do. That’s why Yahoo! Movies has delivered a hat trick of eye poppin’, loin-punchin’, action extravaganzin’ Clash of the Titans one-sheets to give your eyeballs a beefy Sam Worthington squeeze.

Dynamic is the key word here, Friends. There’s nary a floating head to be found and all posters are money shot-a-riffic: Perseus reveling in punishing Medusa’s choice in hair stylist, Perseus brandishing the sword of swordiness atop his winged steed Pegasus (now hard-assed black instead of sissy-pants white) and a threemendous monster highlight with our hero screaming like a lottery winner.

In four months time, we’ll be able to see if all this well-executed marketing (with a chalk mark against the genius who came up with “Titans… Will… Clash!!”) is a true reflection of what Louis Leterrier’s updated Clash of the Titans promises. But let’s face it– there’s not much to dislike with everything we’ve seen so far. In fact, the sissy 80′s version has wisely eaten a truck load of Manwiches while weight-lifting packs of rabid wolves and is busting into 2010 all the more manly for it.

Soak up the testosterone by clicking the poster above for LARGENESS, then grab your Gillette Mach 12 and prepare to grow back hair when you look at the other two posters after the jump.

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