Spider-Man 4 in 2011? Not If The Vulture Says So.

Did you like Spider-Man 3? Sucker.

OK, we can’t hold it against you. There’s some googly-eyed Sam Raimi ridiculousness going on in there that fares the loathed entry better than most of its ilk. Sure there was far too much going on and the studio’s insistence of shoe-horning Venom into the mix only served to dilute and make the whole thing ridiculous. That was because A) Raimi is a classic Spider-Man enthusiast who understands the old villains (Sandman, Doctor Octopus, The Green Goblin) but didn’t really “get” the more recent Venom and B) trying to marry a studios insisted vision with your own can often end badly. Such was the case for Spider-Man 3 and Raimi don’t want no Spider-Man 3.

Still, the studio (rightly so) wanted Raimi back for Spider-Man 4 and spent gobs to get him. But recently, problems are percolating, threatening to judo-chop the shooting schedule and May 6, 2011 release date right in the tenderloin. Apparently, Raimi wants Spider-Man 4‘s villain to be The Vulture. The studio, in their ever present quest for marketability and sexiness, is pushing for another sub-plot romance with the character “Black Cat” and wants any villain but the Vulture. Plot massaging and various writers haven’t been able to make peace with it all and subsequently? Constipation!

Disagreements like this aren’t uncommon for collaborative projects, but to Sony I say,”Muzzle it”. When given free reign, Raimi created a money-magnet franchise entry and one of the best sequels of all time (and a fine movie to boot) in Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2. When forced to meddle and acquiesce, Raimi created a soggy-plotted cluster of suffocation in Spider-Man 3. You paid to get Raimi back. Trust your man, trust that The Vulture will work and let’s get crackin’.

CRANKY MONDAY: Blair Witch Dudes See “Paranormal Activity”, Stupidly Think World Wants More Blair Witch

1999 was the year the world almost came to an end thanks to the number 19 and the year 2k, but the world ushered in the Willenium anyway. It was also the year The Blair Witch Project became the movie phenomenon of last decade. Naturally, the guys behind Blair Witch see the this decade’s movie phenomenon Paranormal Activity and are a little pouty, despite the fact they didn’t want to be attached to endless sequels and therefore walked away from directing Blair Witch 2: Book of Crappy Sequels.

One of the dudes says this:

“I wouldn’t be completely honest with you if I said I wasn’t jealous of Paranormal Activity,” Sánchez says. “I’m happy for the guy … but at the same time, there’s the feeling that, man, I could have done this. It would have been different and might not have been as good. But I know how to make these films. To me it’s like, man, maybe I should go back and kind of milk this one more time.”

Here’s to honesty, brother. The kind of honesty that says you’re dumb because dude– you already did it and dude- that tit you want to milk is shriveled dry. Begone!

To read the full article about the Blair Witch Dudes and their attempts to ride the coattails of their own coattail riders, click here.

Thanks to Mr. Alex Riviello at CHUD for the heads up.

Spielberg + Halo = I Just Pooped Myself

There is nothing I would love more than to see my beloved Halo come to the big screen. As I noted in a previous post, the Halo universe is fairly intricate and most people – keyword, most – aren’t familiar with the backstory depth and detail that hardcore Halo fans have come to love. But if you remember, I said last month the Peter Jackson produced, Neill Blomkamp version is dead and buried. Like hot girls that give you the finger, I suffered a little heartache and then moved on.

And then I read this today: Steven Spielberg in talks to resurrect the Halo movie.

Yes, according to IESB.com and writer Robert Sanchez, Mr. Spielberg is blown away by Stuart Beattie’s screenplay, based on Eric Nylund’s novel Halo: The Fall of Reach, and is looking to possibly produce a Halo movie (or series of movies) under the Dreamworks banner, especially since Dreamworks is now distributed by Walt Disney Pictures instead of Paramount Pictures.  Sanchez says this is especially important since Dreamworks lost the Transformers franchise to Paramount in the split, so they are looking for a potent replacement.

If this is true, I’m going to start going to church again, because prayers really are answered. But until I get an official announcement, I’ll keep my pants pooping on simmer and wait to do cartwheels when the deal is inked and 100 percent good-to-go. One thing is certain: time is running out for this project; it’s now or never, in my opinion.

Alien Rumored to Have Caught R1B1 Reboot Flu

Horror site Bloody Disgusting has broken a rumor that 20th Century Fox is planning on doing what many geeks and even film purists would call the unthinkable: remaking Alien.

I’m fine with rebooting a franchise in general, but this one makes no sense whatsoever. 30 years after its release, Alien holds up incredibly well and still serves as a pattern from which movies are made and patterned wholesale. A remake of the film seems incredibly shortsighted, especially with the years of prequel talk and a mythology that’s ripe for continuation down other avenues beyond revisiting the original.

In what can only come as small consolation, original director Ridley Scott is slated to produce, with new guy and Scott Free (Ridley/Tony Scott’s production company) veteran Carl Rinsch directing. There’s some potential here, fanboyism aside, but hopefully this stands as simply a rumor or wires crossed with another project.

Seeing as how reboot mania is all the rage, I’m a little pessimistic with a slight chance of optimism.

Anchorman 2 May Yet Wear the Smell of Destiny

Enduring comedy classics are hard to come by- there’s a lot of attempts, but even more fail. Anchorman is not one of those unfortunate few. Solid in it’s outlandish ridiculousness and eternal in its sublime quotability, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy is a gentle gift of wonder and delight.

There’s been rumor (isn’t there always?) of Anchorman 2 for some time, but apparently, in a recent press junket for Land of the Sleestacks Lost, Will Ferrell made mention of a meeting on the sequel next week. Whether that’s a load of crap or not–as coming from Will Ferrell– is for you to decide.

Comedy sequels are super-treacherous and indespensable costars Brick Tamlan and Brian Fantana have become kind of a big deal, but I’m brushing my teeth, eating my vegetables and taking out the garbage extra good to ensure that 60% of the time, this movie happens every time.

Daredevil Reboot Gets Further Rumor-ized

If you happened to watch the 4 season run of the critically acclaimed Battlestar Galactica over the last five and a half years, you’ll know Katee Sackhoff played Starbuck, the pissy, angry, almost utterly unlikeable tomboy who, in the end, may have been an angel after all, so her sucking all 4 four episodes can be excused.

Or something.

To Sackhoff’s credit, she played the character with as much sincerity and gusto as could be mustered, but she’s yet been able to translate her TV prestige into anything beyond lame roles in forgettable movies and one-off TV guest spots (sorry, Bionic Woman). And she’s even taken sexy pics for lad magazines. Man, what’s an Oregonian gotta do to catch a freakin’ break in Hollywood?

Funny thing, though, speaking of Hollywood and catching breaks– I’m not sure her next potentially rumored choice will be any help, as the big rumor yesterday was Sackhoff’s visit to an LA comic shop where she picked up a boatload of comic books featuring Typhoid Mary– some villain in the Dare-”even-the-name-is-lame”-devil comic book series. Which tells your right off the bat that Sackhoff:

A) Has a thing for second-tier, telekenetic mutants as invented by John Romita Jr. for the blind hero that strikes boredom into the hearts of villains everywhere: Daredevil.

B) Finally got a around to seeing Ben Affleck’s Daredevil and wants more, more, more.

C) Might be in discussion to play, or has already received, the role of Typhoid Mary in what’s assuredly a oft-discussed Daredevil reboot.

C is the right answer, but to be honest, I think all of the above sound crappy. Here’s to hoping the comics were for her little brother or something.