The Dandy Six: The Disaster Movie List

As 2012 opens today in an all-out effort to clobber your senses with visions of the world “eating it”, it’s time to reflect on a lineage of disaster that spans back almost 40 years. Some highlight the local disaster, others global– but no matter their scale, nine out of ten movie-goers agree: watching lots of people die for fakes is fun.

Nowhere? There is no “nowhere” any more. (Dan)

The Day After (1983)

Directed by Nicholas “Star Trek II” Meyer, The Day After was controversially set and released in the absolute height of the Cold War and presented a realistic scenario of an America before, during and after an all-out nuclear exchange with the Soviet Union.  As a kid, even seeing the promotional images of heartland American skies streaked with missile plumes on their way to Russia were haunting and unnerving. Having viewed it again as an adult– and even with its dated effects– The Day After remains a frightening, deeply affecting and ultimately depressing account of disaster that doesn’t even have a whiff of happy ending.

Money shot:

It is unsinkable. God himself could not sink this ship. (Andy)

Titanic (1997)

Titanic is easily the greatest disaster movie ever made. Not only is it the all-time highest grossing domestic release ($600 million), but it also has two prestigious Oscars to boot, Best Picture and Best Director. And why? Simple: It’s a great film. It’s spoken of with derision quite often, but Titanic is full of action, humor and romance. And then you have the last third of the movie, which depicts with grim detail the sinking of the ship on April 15, 1912 and the subsequent deaths of 1,517 people on board, including Jack Dawson (Leonardo DiCaprio) who, much to the teary-eyed chagrin of teenagers everywhere, sunk to the bottom of the Atlantic.

The Trailer:

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The Dandy Six: Best Alien Encounter Movies

There’s a Monster Outside my Room. Can I Have a Glass of Water? (Andy)

Signs (2002): Before M. Night Shyamalan started pushing out cinematic turds and prior to Mel Gibson going anti-Semitic and Joaquin Phoenix growing a Grizzly Adams beard and becoming a rapper, the trio made a film that is equal parts spiritual, scary and sci-fi. And best of all, Shyamalan, until the absurd ending, did it all with subtle terrors and bubbling tension. I don’t think aliens are scary, but the way Signs is told, you really start to believe this could happen. It’s an alien invasion story told from the vantage point of one small family.

Klaatu Barada Nikto (Dan)

The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951): Forget the Keanu Reeves eco-gospel revamp that bored you into submission last year, the original was an allegorical tale that remains poignant, maybe even more so, today. When a UFO lands at President’s Park in Washington D.C., the world fears the worst and when a spaceman appears, he’s shot and put under arrest. Naturally, the dude only wanted to tell earth that our violent tendencies have other space-faring worlds so worried they’ll kill us all if we keep it up. Focused more on socio-political ideas and the nature of humanity than special effects and action, The Day the Earth Stood Still is an aliens-visit-earth movie that, 58 years later, still carries a message we can all stand to hear.

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The Dandy Six: Best Holiday Movies

I Just Like to Smile…Smiling’s My Favorite (Andy)

Elf (2003): Before Iron Man, actor/director Jon Favreau’s greatest achievement was Elf, a movie so enriched in holiday spirit, laughs and heart it literally smells like candy canes and gingerbread. Elf inhabits the best-of-both worlds, as there’s enough light fare for the kiddies, but also enough Will Ferrell (Land of the Lost) zing to satiate the adults. If you missed this flick, I suggest a viewing ASAP. Nothing is funnier than Ferrell as a human trying to be an elf, and nothing is more adorable than Zooey Deschanel (500 Days of Summer). I just want to hug her and have her sing me to sleep.

And That’s How I Found Out There Was No Santa Claus (Dan)

Gremlins (1984): The Joe Dante directed, Steven Spielberg produced and Chris Columbus screen written comedy horror may not be the first movie you think of when you hear Holidays, but Gremlins stands as a delightfully nasty Christmas-crashing party. It’s not every day you receive a Christmas present that spawns scaly demons that murder, pillage and generally crap on a sleepy Christmas-time town. I can’t think of another holiday movie that so darkly and hilariously punches Christmas in the face with multiple Santa bashings, capped with this story as told to the movie’s hero Billy by his girlfriend:

“The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was nine years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn’t home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That’s when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He’d been climbing down the chimney… his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that’s how I found out there was no Santa Claus.”

Happy Holidays, everybody!

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