Centurion Trailer Looks Sword and Sandals-riffic

Neil Marshall’s a guy whose name most people won’t recognize by name, but by work. The guy’s responsible for the fantastically creepy and claustrophobic The Descent and Dog Soldiers (the good werewolf movie no one’s seen). Sure, he’s also guilty of spawning the craptastic Doomsday, but we’ll consider that dump-fest a pass for keeping his sword sharp.

Apparently keen to revisit the middle-aged themes weirdly introduced int he second half of Doomsday, Marshall’s next project is the dramatic-licensed Centurion. Based on the Roman Ninth legion that went missing (massacred!) during a tour of Britian, Centurion promises all kinds battling, running and Marshall-esque appendage lopping, squishy crunching and gushing blood.

The trailer plays like an alternate universe from Gladiator had the Romans lost the opening battle. And that’s ok by me. You can never have enough sword and sandal epics.

Inglorious Basterds‘ British bullet receptacle Michael Fassbender stars as the Legion’s corporal while the lovely, ex-boob-baring Olga Kurylenko (Hitman, Quantum of Solace) weirdly stars as some warlord lady. Weird because rail-thin models gussied up in war paint and  trying their damnedest to swing a sword and look threatening feels less like gritty realism and more like geek-fantasy comedy. I get the whole hotties in barbarian bikinis thing but man, that image playing out in real life is goofy.

Centurion hits UK theaters in April and US theaters who-knows-when. At least you know you’ll see it on Bluray before the year is out. Watch skinny girls scream at their swords because they’re not carrot sticks below:

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