Help! I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up!

crying_transformer1Hoooo boy! It would seem the Transformers sequel, what seemed to be a surefire summer blockbuster, is now headed full steam ahead for ignominy and a Golden Raspberry award. As of this writing and today’s release, “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” stands at 22% fresh on Rotten And the reviews are brutal. Here’s a sample of what some notable critics are saying about Michael Bay’s Autobots vs. Decepticons movie.

A great grinding garbage disposal of a movie, “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” isn’t so much a narrative film as a cacophonous series of explosions intermittently interrupted by needless dialogue.

– Tom Long (Detroit News)

“Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments. One of these involves a dog-like robot humping the leg of the heroine. Such are the meager joys. If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination.

– Roger Ebert (Chicago Sun-Times)

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen is proof positive that not every summer action blockbuster has the mettle to be a franchise. This sequel to the clever and funny firstTransformers not only is disappointing, it will give most people a throbbing case of metal overload.

– Claudia Puig (USA Today)

The first, comparatively lucid “Transformers” was a headache, but I sort of enjoyed it. It was a Slurpee brain-freeze of a blockbuster. “Revenge of the Fallen” is more like listening to rocks in a clothes dryer for 2½ hours.

– Michael Phillips (Chicago Tribune)

No published reviews for me and Dan this week, but we’ll be talking “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” this Friday at 6PM on the KVNU Movie Show (powered by Bajio!).

5 comments On Help! I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up!

  • I’m all for comic relief, but the minute you put swinging robo testicles on a villain, make robots fart and play to the lowest common denominator (and racists, apparently) is the minute your cool factor and the legitimacy you built by turning a toy into a pretty cool bit of summer escapism is revealed as a fluke.

    I’m sure the explosions and action are rad, but my expectations on this one have nowhere to go but up– and even that’s not saying a lot.

  • I just barely watched the first one. (We have free movie channels for the next few months.) That one was bad enough. But seriously those reviews were hilarious. Too bad, I loved that cartoon series as a kid.

  • The first one was good, but on repeated viewings you get the sense that it’s not THAT good and was driven more by nostalgia and nerdgasms than anything else. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised this is getting peed on by critics, but I won’t lie, I am a sucker for Michael Bay’s slick productions. I might be the only person in America who liked “The Island” and “Pearl Harbor,” as well as “Bad Boys II.”

  • Andy, c’mon. You know I liked the first two as well. You’re nooooooooooooooooot aloooooooooooone…

  • Were seeing this tomorrow and i know its gonna be a giant shitter, but its summertime and damnit it just wouldnt be the same without a michael bay flick, how else am i gonna grow stupider by the min if not by watching a bay film.

    So im grabbin my tub o popcorn & small barrel of diet coke and im hoppin on that gaybay wagon.


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