Twilight fans have been a spoiled bunch. In less than two years they’ve enjoyed three movies – Twilight, The Twilight Saga: New Moon, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse – hewed from their beloved Stephanie Meyer vampire/werewolf romance series of the same name. Star Wars fans had to wait six years for three movies and even Lord of The Rings groupies had to wait three years for their saga to be completed.
Well, karma has come full circle, my friends. At last Twilight haters will have their revenge.
Twihards were already grumpy about having to wait almost a year and a half between The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (released on June 30, 2010) and The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part I (releasing November 11, 2011), but now they’ll have to wait another year for Breaking Dawn – Part II to hit theaters on November 16, 2012. Despite the wailing, weeping, gnawing and gnashing of teeth by Team Edward and Team Jacob, this is a smart move by Summit Entertainment. This allows them to extend the life of Twilight and milk the franchise for every last drop of cougar cash.
As a side note, and I should point out I’ve never read the Twilight books, I’d like to go on record by saying Breaking Dawn sounds like a crock of shit. Reading the plot summary on Wikipedia has literally made me want to punch my own testicles. All the will-she-or-won’t-she questions are gone and with it the suspense and drama and whatever semblance of a story Meyer had concocted before this fourth book, and that’s being generous. Breaking Dawn seems like Meyer’s attempt at being Switzerland, especially with Jacob “imprinting” himself on Bella’s newborn vampire-human daughter. Oh, you couldn’t have Bella, well hope lil’ sis is good enough. And that’s not all – will someone please explain to me how a vampire, the walking dead, can get a human pregnant? I mean, I’ve heard of shooting blanks, but what is a vampire shooting?
In the end, I see Breaking Dawn as a flimsy, limp capstone to a franchise that was already borderline ridiculous to being with. In the end, I see Meyer’s saga for what it really is: a soap opera, full of kooky creatures and make believe, written as justification for a life’s worth of regretful, logic-based choices. She calls it fiction, but I see a four-part journal entry.