I promise to withhold total judgment until this fan film is completely finished, but as a fan of Halo and someone who wishes Microsoft would pull their heads out of their asses and make the damn thing already, this kind of low-budget, let’s-play-guns-in-the-backyard dorkiness just makes me cringe. I know, I know, someone – in this case UK amateur filmmaker Peter Cooper – is passionate about Halo and has put quality time and effort into translating that love to film, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. Especially when, in my opinion, it looks super turdtastic. But let’s be 100 percent honest: A Halo movie will never, ever be made. Yes, people are online teabagging each other right now on XBOX Live with Halo: Reach, and yes Microsoft will continue to pump out Halo titles until Master Chief’s teats dry out, but the movie is dead. I can’t see Microsoft creating the type of adoration that existed in 2006-2007 ever again. Nope. Unless a big name director (read: Steven Spielberg) is tagged to helm this potential blockbuster, it will stay buried and fans will have to live off the fumes of third-rate fanboy wetdreams, like Operation Chastity.