New Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time Poster Still Smells of Suck

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time is one 2010 movie I have zero desire to see. I’ve been unimpressed with the trailer or poster, and I’m not going bananas over this Very Hairy Jake Gyllenhaal one sheet with the words “courage” boldly stamped at the top. Who was the designer behind this, Dan Rather? Either way, it’s lame, but that’s not what has this flick on a collision course with Turdville. Nope, it’s the boring cast, director and the fact that even the video game, from which the movie is based, is lame.

Then again, when I first saw the teaser for Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl, I yawned and smelled a flop. And we all know how that turned out, so perhaps I’m wrong. But I doubt it.

Check out the poster below. If you’re a Jake Gyllenhaal fan, you can supersize it with a click and fantasize about his droopy features and moderate acting ability all you want.


9 comments On New Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time Poster Still Smells of Suck

  • I’ve gotta say, as much as I want to challenge you with your baiting grumpadump on Philip Noyce, an able if stylistically anonymous director, I gotta say we’re on the same page. Everything about POP has come off as mediocre- and as much as I want it to succeed just to shut the “video game movies suck” (which they have) chorus, I’ve been 0 enthused with any actual delivery of the project thus far.

    And really, these posters sell nothing. Here’s to hoping we get another Pirates-like surprise.

  • He looks he just wrapped up a long and craptacular shoot of a bad film and is ready to sit on the couch and roll a fatty.

  • You guys are really idiots. How the fuck can you say this is a bad movie when you haven’t even seen it yet? I mean seriously. And Jake is an amazing actor (And im not even a huge fan of him) and could you do any better? I highly doubt it. And also, The game this movie is based off has gotten amazing reviews and a few awards so it must be a pretty good game (And I have played and loved it). So until the actual movie comes out and you seen it. Don’t judge. I mean Im not saying the movie is gonna be a masterpiece, I mean it could go both ways but im gonna wait and give it a fair chance. There have been a few good game to movie adaptions (Silent Hill, Resident Evil 1, and Mortal Kombat *Disputable*) So just wait and see.

  • @Kyle: Because we have opinions. And eyes.

    • Well having an opinion is fine I mean when I read your comment I can see you weren’t flat out saying the movie was bad and going to fail. And were willing to give it a chance

  • Kyle, did you cut and paste your comment from the Anthology of Disgruntled Gamers’ Pissy Responses, because I think I’ve read that same you-are-idiots-how-can-you-say-it’s-bad-you-couldn’t-do-any-better line of text on a other movie sites.

    A few rebuttals to you, sir:

    1. Jake is not an amazing actor. He hasn’t proven himself consistent enough to be nothing more than a handsome face. I thought he held his own in Brokeback Mountain, but even then his performance was overrated.

    2. I will judge the movie before it comes out because that’s what the studio invites and wants by releasing trailers and posters. If, when it comes out it rocks, I will recant and say I was wrong. But I won’t be.

    3. I am an XBOX junkie and would love to see some of my favorite games (Gears of War, Halo, Dead Space, Bioshock, etc) be made into worthwhile, money-making, critically-applauded films. But let’s be honest, aside from gamer-love, there hasn’t been a warm reception to said movies. And rightfully so. Those movies all suck as a whole.

    • Well I mean come on, could you REALLY do any better? If you showed me you could, I would retract my statement.

      1. And regardless if Jake is not an amazing actor, he can STILL act and is still developing his acting skills (And when I called him an amazing actor I was just referring to Brokeback Mountain where his performance was amazing to say the least.)

      2. And sure I suppose you can judge the movie, but not as a whole until you do actually see it. Like I said, the movie could go either way but you wouldn’t know unless you actually see the movie. The movie did look a little weak at points, but thats just from the trailer, the movie could be vastly different (Though they are one of the same).

      And its odd that you mentioned those 4 X-Box games considering movies are being made from all of those.

  • If I may, Kyle:

    1. I’d disagree with you here also, but you make a point (or an excuse), so fair enough.

    2. We weren’t judging the movie as a whole- just what the trailers and posters have put out, which have been lackluster, in our humble– and almost always infallible– opinion. The POP game may be great, but the film has to bridge the gap from “go here, do this, A, X, Y” to a real and interesting narrative. Games are hard to translate as what feels like a narrative whole is just a series of cut scenes stitched with gameplay– and gameplay onscreen is boring. So yeah, we’re judging the movie on the trailer– which is the whole point of a trailer. The studios put it out so you’ll say “SWEET”, judge it as awesome and go see it. If they miss the mark, it can be judged the other way as well. And we say it’s missed the mark, so it’s gotta be true.

    3. Halo is dead. No one owns the rights or is even moving forward on it. Gears of War is languishing, Bioshock was deemed too pricey by Universal and is searching for foreign aid, (IE- it’s on hold) and Dead Space doesn’t even have a script yet. To say they’re being made into movies is a little premature. Some have been optioned, but that means little until they get funding and a green light for production.

    Either way, chances are high that they’ll stink. If we’re wrong, we’ll be the first to admit it.

  • Kyle I see what your saying and i agree to a point.

    Its all so easy for us interwebz dudes to sit in our chairs and pass judgement onto projects that for most is their blood sweat n tears and for some of the small independent films it could mean everything, theyve got a chance to break into the movie business and if their film isnt successful its over, they’ve put it all on the line for something they are passionate about.

    Everyones a critic but who knows what it took for some of these people and their families to get that film made and picked up. the case of Jake and Bruckheimer we all know this film is gonna be an over the top, over produced, over budgeted fun ride of a summer popcorn flick, which isnt a bad thing, its just as a gamer myself sometimes i wish they wouldnt turn my video games into shitty over the top, brainless action fests simply for a cash grab and as Andy pointed out judging from the trailer, if it looks and smells like a steamy turd, it may just be a pos.

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