Kit Fisto Says Prepare to Get Fisted! Star Wars to Blu in 2011!

You knew it was coming someday, but now the release of the entire Star Wars saga to Blu-ray is official via Baron Papanoida at the Celebration V event in Orlando, Florida. Host Jon Stewart asked the Baron fan submitted questions, and aside from how big are Aayla Secura’s hoots, the question of Star Wars to Blu-ray was the most frequent. B-Pappy says it will hit stores at a yet-to-be-announced date in Fall 2011.

The set will have all six movies and a buttload of special features, including many deleted scenes Star Wars fans have only heard rumored. One such scene from Return of the Jedi was introduced by a bloated and wrinkly Mark Hamill, that of Luke Skywalker building his green lightsaber and stashing it in R2-D2 before he heads out to lay waste to Jabba the Hutt’s stronghold and fleet of rusty sailboats. For a full list of scenes you may or may not see on the Blu-ray versions of Star Wars, follow this link to Wookieepedia.

Obviously, despite my hatred for Lucas, I’m buying this set. Here’s a question: What do you think the retail price will be? Lord of the Rings was $79, I believe, so I can’t see this being priced less than $149. I better start saving my Republic credits so come 2011 I’m not getting fisted by Kit Fisto’s special force shocker he previously only used for Jedi Conehead.

PS – While you save your hard earned cash, enjoy this little clip from Robot Chicken. One of my favorite of their Star Wars spoofs.

Sixish Years Later, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy Arrives

When Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy made its American debuted on July 9, 2004, it was instantly hailed as an insightful, groundbreaking masterwork of American Cinema. On this, Anchorman‘s six year, one month and one day anniversary, we take a look back at a towering achievement that not only affirmed who we are as human beings, but managed to capture that spirit in a glass case of emotion.

We salute you Will Farrell and Adam McKay and congratulate you and your plate of cat poop on the American Film Institute’s long overdue recognition of your film. Well played, gentleman. Well played, indeed.

Bark twice if you’re in Milwaukee.

Dear Movie Blog: Yes, I Still Hate George Lucas

The Movie Blog.com has an article up about how George Lucas was persuaded by Bill Gates and Warren Buffett to join The Giving Pledge program wherein Lucas will give half of his fortune to charity. I think that’s swell and when you have a gazillion dollars, well, that’s probably a little easier to do than when you’re living paycheck-to-paycheck. Personally, I think all the pomp and circumstance is lame, but hey, billionaires want some limelight and want to pat themselves on the back. Yay for them.

But I digress. The question Francisco of The Movie Blog.com asks is this: [Do I] still hate George Lucas?

Yes, Francisco, I do.

Five years removed from the last prequel, Revenge of The Sith, and I still bristle at the piss-poor job Lucas did in directing and writing said films. Some now see a philanthropist wearing flannel and a salt and pepper pompadour and some even claim to see an artist. I see an egomaniac who got lucky. That self-centered vision, bullseyed on the almighty dollar, prevented The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones and Revenge of The Sith from being mentioned in the same breath as the original trilogy, and for that, I will always harbor animosity towards Baron Papanoida.

Still, he could redeem himself. If he chooses to make another trilogy, which now, with half his fortune bidding him adieu, seems like a foregone conclusion, he could hand over writing duties and directing duties to fresh blood and I’d be 100 percent happy and confident in that trilogy. As George’s generous giving shows, he’s better at writing checks than anything else.

Christoph Waltz in Spider-Man 4 as Villain? Please oh Please!

After the travesty that was Spider-Man 3, I wasn’t really pining for any more Sam Raimi involvement. Like Tim Burton and Joel Schumacher with the pre-Christopher Nolan Batman films, the style and methods he brought to the franchise got old and moldy. It was time for new blood. As it stands today, the reboot of Spider-Man, due in 2012, has a director (Marc Webb) and Peter Parker/Spider-Man (Andrew Garfield), but no villain as of yet. According to rumblings on the World Wide Web, the filmmakers are considering Christoph Waltz as a potential foe for Spider-Man. If these rumors are true, this is a fantastic choice by Webb and Co. Waltz was fabulously creepy as Col. Hans Landa, the “Jew hunter” in last summer’s Inglourious Basterds.

What do you think about this potential casting? Furthermore, if Waltz was cast as the villain, who would he play?

Trailer Tuesday: Don’t Be Afraid of The Dark

I’ve never seen the 1973 version of Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, and I’m not sure how the remake, due in theaters on January 21, 2011, is going to fare, but I do know this: the recently released, gimmicky, see-it-coming-a-mile-away trailer did, in fact, make my netherregions pucker something fierce. My loins went into turtle mode and my bum went to Defcon 1. Something about flashlights under blankets and creepy creatures crawling around in said blankets make me tense. And why shouldn’t it? This remake is written by Guillermo del Toro (and Matthew Robbins), who is no stranger to scaring the bejesus out of theatergoers over the last decade or so. Starring Guy Pearce (The Road) and Katie Holmes (Batman Begins), this movie ought to be a creepy little treat.

Take a peek at the trailer and let me know your impressions. Personally, while this could be decent, I’m banking on this doing poorly critically and financially. How many times have we been told the scary story of a family moving into a haunted house and the kids begin to see ghosts and goalies, while mom and dad are oblivious until it’s too late? Unless del Toro and first-time director Troy Nixey have something surprising and adept planned for movie patrons, this is going to sink. The January release days says as much.

What’s In Your Netflix Queue?

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted in this category, and even though I still have this category, Netflix still denies me entrance to their affiliate program (douchebags!), but still, I figured I’d open up and share the top ten from my queue. I am signed up to receive three movies a month and lately I haven’t been watching them too quickly, I blame this on the free preview of HBO and Showtime I had for 90 days. I also blame this on the steady stream of Blu-ray purchases I have made over the last few months. Hard to say at this juncture if Redbox’s recent offering of Blu-ray DVDs will move me to cancel Netflix, but it’s looking unlikely. I’ve had The Book of Eli for three days now and still haven’t watched it, i.e. I’m dinged $1.50 every 24 hours. I like the leisurely pace of Netflix and it fits my media-filled lifestyle.

1. A Prophet

2. Collapse

3. An Education

4. In the Loop

5. A Single Man

6. Adam

7. Youth in Revolt

8. The Runaways

9. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans

10. The Burning Plain

What’s in YOUR Netflix queue? Anything quirky or under-the-radar? Inquiring minds want to know!

Movie Review: The Other Guys (A-)

From Old School to Elf to Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby and even Land of the Lost (I think I might be one of a handful who actually enjoyed this movie), Will Ferrell has proven to be one of the funniest actors of the last decade. Mark Walhberg is in the same boat talent-wise. He’s no Oscar winner (literally), but he’s capable and solid, especially in The Departed, Three Kings and Boogie Nights. You’d think with these two headlining The Other Guys, a buddy-buddy-cop movie comedy, I would have been chomping at the bit to plant my derrière in an air conditioned multiplex seat, especially where funnyman director/writer Adam McKay (Step Brothers, Talladega Nights, Anchorman) is at the helm. But I wasn’t. The trailers and TV spots were uninspiring and the comedy showcased therein seemed beyond recycled. I literally had to drag myself to the press screening.

Boy howdy, I’m glad I did! The Other Guys is the funniest movie of the summer. I went in expecting yawns and anguish, but I came out smiling and pleased. The Other Guys is funny from start to finish and its humor isn’t constructed on the flimsy and unstable foundation of physical comedy, but rather on the oddball characters and sharp writing Ferrell and McKay fans have come to know from their work together on the aforementioned Talladega Nights and Anchorman.

Set in New York City, the film’s narrator, an un-credited Ice-T, introduces us to Detectives Highsmith and Danson (Samuel L. Jackson and Dwayne Johnson), two slick, action-loving cops who are the toast of the town and almost as beloved as the Yankees amongst New Yorkers. The City that Never Sleeps is dealt a crushing blow when these two men are killed in the line of duty (something I did not see coming and an absolutely hilarious ode to Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid), but their fellow officers aren’t so brokenhearted and start jostling to take Highsmith and Danson’s spots as celebrity cops.

Enter Terry Hoitz (Mark Wahlberg) and Allen Gamble (Will Ferrell). Both are desk jockeys, but only one enjoys the paperwork. They are partners, but are absolutely nothing alike. Gamble works the desk because he promised his wife (Eva Mendes) he’d stay safe, and Hoitz works the desk because all of NYC hates his guts for accidentally shooting Derek Jeter and costing the Yanks the World Series. Allen is the peaceful, calm, kindhearted doofus of the bunch – listening to Little River Band and driving a Toyota Prius, while Terry is the angry, ready-to-blow hothead, constantly insulting Allen’s abilities and masculinity, telling him he doesn’t even pee like a man. They are led by Captain Gene March (Michael Keaton) who, in a sign of the economic downturn, must also work at Bed Bath & Beyond to put his bi-sexual artist son through college. However, when the duo begins investigating the financial dealings of David Ershon (Steve Coogan), they discover crimes that could promote them from the laughing stock of the department to New York’s new heroes.

Aside from Inception and Salt, I’d have to say The Other Guys is easily my next favorite movie of the summer and easily one of the funniest films of the year. It’s fast paced and even the craziest, most outlandish tangents the film takes don’t cause enough of a slowdown to induce boredom. I laughed from start to finish and would easily pay the full-price ticket for this PG-13 rib-tickler.

It’s Official, Twihards: One Year Wait Between Breaking Dawn Part One and Two

Twilight fans have been a spoiled bunch. In less than two years they’ve enjoyed three movies – Twilight, The Twilight Saga: New Moon, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse – hewed from their beloved Stephanie Meyer vampire/werewolf romance series of the same name. Star Wars fans had to wait six years for three movies and even Lord of The Rings groupies had to wait three years for their saga to be completed.

Well, karma has come full circle, my friends. At last Twilight haters will have their revenge.

Twihards were already grumpy about having to wait almost a year and a half between The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (released on June 30, 2010) and The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part I (releasing November 11, 2011), but now they’ll have to wait another year for Breaking Dawn – Part II to hit theaters on November 16, 2012. Despite the wailing, weeping, gnawing and gnashing of teeth by Team Edward and Team Jacob, this is a smart move by Summit Entertainment. This allows them to extend the life of Twilight and milk the franchise for every last drop of cougar cash.

As a side note, and I should point out I’ve never read the Twilight books, I’d like to go on record by saying Breaking Dawn sounds like a crock of shit. Reading the plot summary on Wikipedia has literally made me want to punch my own testicles. All the will-she-or-won’t-she questions are gone and with it the suspense and drama and whatever semblance of a story Meyer had concocted before this fourth book, and that’s being generous. Breaking Dawn seems like Meyer’s attempt at being Switzerland, especially with Jacob “imprinting” himself on Bella’s newborn vampire-human daughter. Oh, you couldn’t have Bella, well hope lil’ sis is good enough. And that’s not all – will someone please explain to me how a vampire, the walking dead, can get a human pregnant? I mean, I’ve heard of shooting blanks, but what is a vampire shooting?

In the end, I see Breaking Dawn as a flimsy, limp capstone to a franchise that was already borderline ridiculous to being with. In the end, I see Meyer’s saga for what it really is: a soap opera, full of kooky creatures and make believe, written as justification for a life’s worth of regretful, logic-based choices. She calls it fiction, but I see a four-part journal entry.

Trailer Tuesday: The Social Network Trailer Smells of Oscar and Awesome

The trailer for David Fincher’s new film, The Social Network, is dipped in awesome and sprinkled with little bits of gold Oscar flakes. It’s a long way to go until February 2011, but I have a hard time believing this tale about the rise of Facebook and its founders, Mark Zuckerberg and Eduardo Saverin, won’t have its due consideration come awards season.  There’s just too much of the fantastic orbiting this picture, starting with director David Fincher (Zodiac), screenwriter Aaron Sorkin (Charlie Wilson’s War), and actors Jesse Eisenberg (Zombieland), Andrew Garfield (who was just cast as Peter Parker/Spider-Man in Marc Webb’s franchise reboot) and Max Minghella (Art School Confidential).

Still, I do have to be somewhat leery of a finally wrought trailer giving me goosebumps and the actual film becoming a depantsing and spanking of the highest order. This has happened to me several times. Pay it Forward and Vanilla Sky are two that come to mind almost immediately, as do all of George Lucas’ Star Wars prequels. Put quite simply: These were cases of cinematic blue balls – exciting trailers that pushed the promise of critical and box office success, but then crapped out in hefty fashion.

Let’s hope that’s not the case here. Check out the trailer and give me your thoughts. Also, if you have any blue-ball-trailer experiences, please, speak up and vent your anguish in the comments.

Redbox Going Blu for $1.50 a Day

It was only a matter of time before Redbox introduced Blu-ray DVDs into their self-serve kiosks, and in all actuality one could argue Redbox is late to the game. I am a loyal Netflix member and their large selection of Blu-ray releases is the main reason. Still, $1.50 a night for a Blu-ray isn’t a bad deal and depending on future selection (see below), I might end up giving Netflix a nice pruneslam, especially where they have rejected me as an affiliate in Linkshare and Google’s Affiliate Network, with no justification or answer to my cries of “WTF?”.

At any rate, Redbox’s official announcement was last Friday, July 30, and a Blu-ray Disc Availability page was up shortly thereafter. A quick search of zipcode 84321 shows 14 Blu-ray locations in Cache Valley. I decided to check it out for myself and investigated the Redbox at 7-11 at the corner of Main Street and 1400 North. Surprise, surprise, the location did in fact have Blu-ray discs and I’m taking home The Book of Eli tonight in vending-dispensed hi-def to cap the whole experience.

Bottom line: Depending on future titles, this might trump my use of Netflix, especially if I’m super-prompt in watching the movies the day I rent them, which, I won’t lie, is usually not the case. Just at Netflix. I had Flame and Citron for five months before I finally watched it and sent it back for The White Ribbon, which I’ll probably have until Christmas.

For a list of all Cache Valley locations, click this link. As always, your opinions are welcome.