Trailer Tuesday: Beastly

Andy — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 19:29:39 +0000

You’d think with all the sunny weather we’ve had in Utah over the last two weeks I’d be doing cartwheels and salivating at the prospects of summer weather right around the corner. But no, I’ve been one cranky SOB and nothing is riling me up more than 2010’s summer movie slate. I’m fairly sure my must-see list can be counted on one hand and I’m similarly confident my must-miss list is overweight with moronic crap, like the trailer below for this July’s fantasy romance, Beastly.

I could tell you Beastly is based on the 2007 novel of the same name (written by Alex Finn) and I could go into the story and characters, but after you watch the trailer below I think you’ll get the picture. It’s basically a Generation Y retelling of the classic Beauty and the Beast story. No doubt the mood and concept of Beastly are set to mimic the young love and angst so prevalent in the The Twilight Saga, and with the casting of High School Musical sweetheart, Vanessa Hudgens, the target audience is clear.

Personally, even with Neil Patrick Harris showing up as a blind tutor, this movie is a fantastic mural of what summer 2010 is moviewise. Mark my words, May through August will be the spottiest and driest entertainment season in recent memory. If you disagree, please speak up. And if you’ve read the book, Beastly, please, let us know your take. As for me, I’m going to rinse out my mouth. Watching Vanessa Hudgens acting gave me a little mini barf in my mouth.

First-Look at Edgy Teen Drama “Beastly”

Andy — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 19:15:10 +0000

I use the word “edgy” in the title of this post because “ridonkulous” wouldn’t quite fit. I thought this “Beastly” was a Sci-Fi channel or made-for-television movie when I first saw it advertised, but now I realize it’s something planned for a July 30^th, 2010 release to the big screen. The studio is calling it a retelling of the classic “Beauty and the Beast” tale; I call it latching on to the “Twilight” teat and hoping to ride the wave of supernatural teenage lust, this time with Alex Pettyfer and Vanessa Hudgens as The Beast and Beauty, respectively.

Here’s the summary from the studio:

Kyle Kingson (Alex Pettyfer) has it all – looks, intelligence, wealth and opportunity – and a wicked cruel streak. Prone to mocking and humiliating “aggressively unattractive” classmates, he zeroes in on Goth classmate Kendra, inviting her to the school’s extravagant environmental bash. Kendra accepts, and, true to form, Kyle blows her off in a particularly savage fashion. She retaliates by casting a spell that physically transforms him into everything he despises. Enraged by his horrible and unrecognizable appearance he confronts Kendra and learns that the only solution to the curse is to find someone that will love him as he is – a task he considers impossible.

Repulsed by his appearance, Kyle’s callous father banishes him to Brooklyn with a sympathetic housekeeper and blind tutor. As Kyle ponders how to overcome the curse and get his old life back, he chances upon a drug addict in the act of killing a threatening dealer. Seizing the opportunity, Kyle promises the addict freedom and safety for his daughter, Lindy (Vanessa Hudgens) if she will consent to live in Kyle’s Brooklyn home. Thus begins Kyle’s journey to discover true love in this hyper-modern retelling of the classic “Beauty and the Beast” story.

Seriously? Hyper-modern? Ewwwwkay. Anyway, I’m betting this doesn’t see theaters and ends up a direct-to-DVD showcase of nonsense. If I want my Vanessa Hudgens fix, which I don’t, because that would close to pedophilia, I’ll either watch “High School Musical” or I’ll find her racy pictures on the Internet. Either way, “Beastly” holds no appeal to this guy.

Click the thumbnails below for some “Beastly” images.

Andy at The Movies » Beastly

Trailer Tuesday: Beastly

First-Look at Edgy Teen Drama “Beastly”