Best and Worst of 2009

I’ve been in a bad mood for the last few days, so I thought I’d follow my Best of the Decade article from earlier this week with a look back at 2009’s worst films. Then I realized that admist all my 2010 celebrations, I’d neglected to list the best of 2009 as well. I’m sure, like everything in the world of film, these are debatable. One person’s nightmare is another’s wet dream, so while I wanted to commit hara-kiri during I Love You, Beth Cooper, another person might have been clapping with joy and slapping their knee at all the fun and hijinx ensuing on screen.  Such is the beauty of le cinema. Anyhow, take a peek at my lists and please, as always, dish your two cents.

Worst

I Love You, Beth Cooper

Hayden Panettiere (TV’s Heroes) might be cute as a button, but this beauty and the nerd tale was literally unfunny from start to finish. If Panettiere hadn’t of dropped her towel for a nanosecond in the middle of the movie, I’d probably not have made it to the end. And what’s with Paul Rust? I’m supposed to believe he’s actually 17? He looks 35.

2012

Roland Emmerich has a chubby for disaster movies, but while Independence Day was a-ok, the rest – Godzilla, The Day After Tomorrow – have sucked big time. They are emotionless, void of character and chock full of preachy environmental messages. I’m okay with message movies, but I can’t keep my eyes open in Emmerich’s to get the message. I’ve heard people tell me this was fun and the special effects were cool. Those people are idiots.

Bruno

I thought Borat was ingenious and funny and a nice social commentary. Sacha Baron Cohen’s second film is nothing of the sort. In fact, it’s pretty offensive. As a gay fashion corespondent, Cohen manages to make himself look like a complete jackass. If I was a gay person, I’d be extremely pissed at this movie.

Land of the Lost

The TV show was lame, so why would the movie be in better? Oh, I know – because it has Will Ferrell and Danny McBride! Imagine my surprise when every part of this movie sucked. The only parts that kept me from giving this a F were the jokes about Ferrell’s Florsheim boots and the drugged out pool scene. Other than that – this movie was pure crap.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop

I didn’t catch this in theaters, but I definitely kept on pace with all the “America Loves Paul Blart!” hysteria. Well, America must be pretty hard up for a good time, or our collective IQ has hit rock bottom, because this movie was neither heartwarming or funny. It was 100 percent stupid. The only positive was the lovely Jayma Mays, who I can now ogle while watching TV’s Glee.

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