Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time Movie Review (B-)

With the combined might of uber-producer Jerry Bruckheimer, Jake Gyllenhall’s rockin’ abs and respected director Mike Newell (Donnie Brasco, Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire), Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time hits Memorial Day weekend with a big question mark: will this video-game based movie finally pass over the threshold of wretched to mediocre and inspire a franchise in vein of Pirates of the Caribbean? I’ll always argue a movie’s success should be based on its merits as a film rather than comparison to a video game, but the short answer is this: Prince of Persia is both fun and miles beyond its pixel-inspired brethren. And while it shares the common theme of a heroic orphan thrust into a world of magic and adventure, it does lack a Depp-like meat hook and falls short of Pirates charm– though, surprisingly, not by much.

Steeped in the craggy canyons, expansive deserts and mile-high minarets of a romanticized height-of-power Persian Empire, The Prince of Persia succeeds in taking the Cliff note narrative of 2003′s video game of the same title– invading prince discovers a dagger able to turn back time and eventually helps a princess recover it to thwart the evil plans of a duplicitous court adviser–and beefs it out with enough neutral (though slightly overstuffed) mythology, plucky character and surrounding quest to elevate it beyond the simple cut and paste/flat fan service of previous game to film failures.

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The Sorcerer’s Apprentice Looks Dumb

It’s about time! Who hasn’t been awaiting the live action re-imagining of Disney’s classic Fantasia sequence: The Sorcerer’s Apprentice? With a bewigged and mumbling Nicholas Cage flashing the outfit he stole from Van Helsing? AND the funny kid from Knocked Up/Tropic Thunder? AND explosions and dragons galoooore?

Everyone, that’s who.

Maybe I’m just feeling cynical today, but this trailer makes The Sorcerer’s Apprentice look like a big ol’ batch of empty, bombastic dumb. All in spite of Jerry Bruckhiemer.

On a positive note, at least they kept the mops. Watch the trailer below, then breathlessly yawn your anticipation for July 16, 2010.

Trailer Tuesday – Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, based on the popular video game franchise, hits theaters in May 2010 and stars Jake Gyllenhaal (Zodiac), Ben Kingsly (Elegy) and Gemma Arterton (Quantum of Solace). It’s being produced by Jerry Bruckheimer and directed by Mike Newell. Based on the trailer below, I’m a little underwhelmed. But then I’m a bit biased, because I think the video game is straight up lame. And while Arterton is smokin’ hot, Jake Gyllenhaal might one of the most overrated actors working today. We’ll see if he can pull off the action hero with his long hair and fake accent.

However, I will suspend my doubt on this movie because somehow the Bruckheimer-produced Pirates of the Caribbean series worked and because Newell has an impressive resume, including Enchanted April, the little known Amazing Grace and Chuck, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Donnie Brasco, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and Love in the Time of Cholera.

How about you? What do you think of the trailer?

Apaches Finally Coming to the Big Screen

Lorenzo Carcaterra rose to notoriety in the late 1990s with his second work of non-fiction, Sleepers, about some Hell’s Kitchen youths sent to Satan’s prison for boys and the subsequent changes and justice they mete out against former inmates and guards. You may remember the 1996 movie version directed by Barry Levinson that starred Brad Pitt, Jason Patric, Dustin Hoffman, Minnie Driver, Robert De Niro, Billy Crudup and Kevin Bacon. I never saw it, but Sleepers was a definite page turner. Carcaterra is to New York as James Ellroy is to Los Angeles. His stories are gritty and the characters, most of whom are never black and white – always shades of gray, are usually primed for vengeance.

Apaches was Carcaterra’s first foray into fiction and has been tossed around Hollywood for the last 11 years. The book revolves around some retired cops who take justice into their own hands and lay the smack down a big drug cartel, one that is in the habit of impregnating prostitutes and then using their infants as containers for smuggling drugs. Jerry Bruckheimer has hired screenwriters Sean O’ Keefe and Will Staples to pen the screenplay. No director or release date has been assigned as of yet.

If you haven’t had a chance to read Apaches or Sleepers, you can pick them up at Amazon.com below:

Apaches: A Novel of Suspense and Sleepers, $4.99 and $7.99 respectively.

UPDATED: Bruckheimer Nabbed The Lone Ranger– The Lone Ranger’s Nabbed a Director

Update at end of story.

Feels like Jerry Bruckheimer’s law-upholding, shiny bullet poppin’, Silver-riding Lone Ranger project has been simmering for a while (it has… it really has!). The last bit of major news was Johnny “Everyone loves him NOW” Depp’s attachment as Native-American BFF Tonto– of course, that makes me wonder where Wes Studi was when the casting call went out.

Dear Wes… I miss you*.

So talk about curiosity piqued when the latest humdinger about the project just kind of dropped out of nowhere– The Lone Ranger has attracted a 100% legit director.  Since Bruckheimer is also producing the vid-game adaptation Prince of Persia, I’ll totally assume and put two and eight together: filming for POP must have gone along like naked ladies and peanut butter: Mike Newell (the director of Prince of Persia) has been attached to call the shots. The Mike Newell of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (hopefully Robert Patrick has found the time to give a hearty thanks), Donnie Brasco, Pushing Tin, Four Weddings and a Funeral and Love in the Time of Cholera. The guy’s good.

Of course, this is Bruckheimer and he’s used to delivering winners and top-shelf talent to films you might not expect to see on the receiving end. In this case, The Lone Ranger project just got a lot more interesting.

UPDATED: Must-read website Hollywood Elsewhere noted a “reliable” inside tip hinting that Disney wants Matthew McConaughey to star as an alternate to first-choice Christian Bale:

“…per studio desire, the leading candidate for The Lone Ranger is Matthew McConaughey. The initial choice was Christian Bale, but there’s worry about his spearheading too many franchises so they’re waiting to see how McG’s Terminator film does. He’s carrying a certain prick status at the moment due to his still reverberating rant.”

*But not for long- Wes Studi’s back in action in James Cameron’s Avatar.