Proof that Twilight is Super Gay

New Moon’s Box Office Debut = Holy Effin’ Ess!

The Twilight Saga: New Moon killed, killed, killed at the box office this weekend with close to $141 million thanks to the deep pockets of chicks across the land. Earlier in the week, industry tracking had New Moon at a respectable $60-70 million. While we here at AATM “doubted the validity” of those numbers, I don’t think it was until the midnight premieres that there was an inkling the movie would inspire an opening that would land it THIRD ALL TIME BOX OFFICE right behind The Dark Knight ($158 million) and Spider-Man 3 ($151 million)- both of which had an even audience spread. Hail to the power of male objectification wish-fulfillment women!

Thing is? Numbers will most likely be higher when “actuals” (the actual dollars adjusted after a full Sunday run– not just today’s estimate) come in on Monday/Tuesday. I can’t say that I’m surprised, and yet, I’m still kind of surprised.

While a $140 million dollar haul doesn’t validate New Moon in terms of quality as much as it shows the Twilight brand is a platinum mine, New Moon‘s massive success should give director Chris Weitz (who I inexplicably have a ton of good will for) a mood boost and a reason to hold of on improving his surfing technique. It’s also a “HA-HA!” to Paramount studios, who passed on renewing the rights to Twilight a few years back before Summit snatched it up and started printing gold coins off it.

That said, we can finally put New Moon behind us and look forward to some other great films coming out this holiday season… you know, as a breather until May/June of next year when stylistic and dark director David Slade delivers Twilight‘s third chapter,  Eclipse, to Summer Prime Time.

Yeah, I’ll Defend of New Moon. Kind of.

New Moon is currently basking in a pile of critical distaste. It’s currently a sad and deflated 30% on Rotten Tomatoes and has 70% of listed critics giving it stink eye. Not that critical ire matters in terms of films like these. New Moon will make its money and add further fuel to the “critics are out of touch” fire– just like Twilight’s spiritual cinematic brothers G.I. Joe and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen did this summer. Critical loathing won’t make a bit of difference.

And really, critical loathing is fine– it’s a collective strength of disparate film criticism. But I’m beginning to wonder if the critical hate for New Moon is legitimately aimed at the film or, as stated in my review, if it’s based on fighting to maintain disgruntled predisposition, groupthink “street cred” and the abhorrence of associating with an estrogen-fueled pop phenomenon. A dissenting review is legitimate, but the smarmy strain at repugnance I’m seeing in so many New Moon reviews seems at least partially inspired by a personal beef with the phenomenon more than the film itself.

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Movie Review (Dan’s Take): The Twilight Saga: New Moon (B-)

So now might be time to relinquish my right to continue as a bear wrestling, hairy chested, card carrying male. I unapologetically enjoyed New Moon… all in spite of itself.

Qualified: “enjoyed” doesn’t mean squealing, wooing, heart-stopping delight, but rather pleasant surprise at Chris Weitz’ relatively true handle on overwrought teen angst and the brief action beats that break it up.  In short, Weitz directs a film that, despite a ploddingly joyless eternal love between vampire Edward and heroine Bella (one that thankfully gets a breather for most of the movie), moves with enough humor, mild danger and character exposition to deepen and enliven a relatively shallow story.

New Moon continues the inexplicable love affair* between a 100+ year old vampire and 17 year old girl, as Bella (Kristen Stewart) and Edward (Robert Pattison) grimace and mope mushy one-liners back and forth while arguing over whether or not Bella should become a vampire. If love is as painful as Bella and Edward make it look, love blows.

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Trailer Tuesday? Make That New Moon Tuesday!

There’s nothing more to be said about Twilight: New Moon. It’s coming up super-fast, women get all swooney at the thought of it and guys wonder why because vampires are dumb.

There’s nothing much to say about the poster, either. It’s the one the Twihards have been waiting for– a beefy and defensive Jacob, a “morose is the new black” Bella and a pouty, slouchy Edward– all ready to adorn your wall, desktop wallpaper or both.

Twilight New Moon Clip to Air on MTV

Andy Samburg is about the only reason in the world I’ll be DVRing the MTV Movie Awards (no way in hell am I watching them live; there is great power in the fast forward button) set to air live on May 31, 2009 at 9PM EST, but if you’re a “Twilight” fan you’ll get your fix when Edward, Bella and Jacob, aka Robert Pattison, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner, present an exclusive clip from the forthcoming “New Moon” during the “awards ceremony.” “Twilight” leads all movies with seven nominations. Academy Award voters must feel the hot glow of shame for missing the brilliance of this movie.

If the “Twilight” trio wasn’t enough to get your intrigue set to DEFCON 1, the awards show will also have live performances from Eminem and The Kings of Leon. Other celebs due for appearances are Sandra Bullock, Dwayne Johnson, Sienna Miller, Channing Tatum, Danny McBride, Abigail Breslin, Bradley Cooper, Thomas Lennon, Denzel Washington, Cameron Diaz, Ryan Reynolds, Will Ferrell, and Vanessa Hudgens. And if that looked like celebrity keyword-stuffing, well, that’s because it was.

The (Pretty) Boys Who Cried Wolf

The following photo is one that will probably make the Twi-hards (Really? That’s what Twilight fans have named themselves?) swoon while their male partners find retribution and solace in breaking out a quick list of homophobic insults.

USA Today has premiered a promo shot for Twilight: New Moon. No, it’s not Edward– it’s the “Wolf Pack” boys exposing eight nipples, four belly buttons and a Photoshop workout that would make Tony Horton sad.

Once again, the image is an exclusive. Click the rejected International Male: Abercrombie Woodsman Edition image below to see all the shirtlessness magnified.

In the mean time, New Moon is currently filming in the land of cheap filmmaking (Oh, Canada!) and is on the super-duper-duper fast track for release later this year. If you think that’s fast (it is) the third book in the series, Eclipse, will begin shooting while New Moon is still in theaters– which makes sense in the moneymaking scheme of things, as Summit is wise to assume Twilight’s fandemonium as incredibly finite.

Hallelujah.

Michael Sheen in “New Moon”

Michael Sheen, most recently seen as David Frost in Ron Howard’s Oscar nominated “Frost/Nixon,” has signed on to play the head of the Volturi coven of vampires in “The Twilight Saga: New Moon.” Sheen must be relieved to finally shed the werewolf mask (he played a lycan in all three “Underworld” films) for that of a vampire. Boy, I know I would be. Them werewolves are stink-a-rific.

Oh, and in case you’ve been in Outer Space for the last year, “New Moon” is the sequel to last November’s box office darling, “Twilight.” Robert “Soon To Be Typecast” Pattison returns for the sequel as Edward Shinyskin Furybrows, as does Kristen “I’m a Pothead” Stewart as Bella Swan.”