Screw You Hollywood: Halo 4 Forward Unto Dawn Web Series Laments What Might Have Been

Not to be Debbie Downer, but there is no way in hell a Halo movie will ever be made. If by some miracle the new Halo trilogy – starting with the release of Halo 4 this November – overpowers the Call of Duty behemoth and the Master Chief saga finds its mojo once more, then maybe, just maybe, we might see a Halo movie in the future. But I doubt it. Microsoft and Hollywood had it’s chance when the Halo

Continue Reading

Kristen Stewart: ‘I Wanted to Puke Up Blood’

Entertainment Weekly has the latest compelling information about the upcoming release of the Nth edition of the Twilight series, Breaking Wind Dawn. In the expose, the actress of … one … facial expression laments the fact that Breaking Dawn had to maintain a PG-13 rating, and thus couldn’t get as graphic as the book with a highly anticipated wedding/birthing scene. “I would have loved to have been puking up blood,” Stewart told EW. If only she knew how pleasant puking

Continue Reading

Breaking Dawn Image Reveals Sexytime for Ed and Bella

We are still months away from seeing any sort of teaser trailer for Bill Condon’s The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get your Twihard fix right here and now with this image of Edward and Bella doing the mattress dance in the fourth installment of the vampire-werewolf-human soap opera. I haven’t read the, ahem, novels – and you can be damn sure I never will – but from what I gather, there are some downright head-shaking, cuckoo moments

Continue Reading

It’s Official, Twihards: One Year Wait Between Breaking Dawn Part One and Two

Twilight fans have been a spoiled bunch. In less than two years they’ve enjoyed three movies – Twilight, The Twilight Saga: New Moon, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse – hewed from their beloved Stephanie Meyer vampire/werewolf romance series of the same name. Star Wars fans had to wait six years for three movies and even Lord of The Rings groupies had to wait three years for their saga to be completed. Well, karma has come full circle, my friends. At last

Continue Reading

Thanks for Screwing Me Over, Twihards!

Despite opening on 4,468 screens and having a rabid fanbase of emotional tweens, teens and housewives, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, which I thought was a decent movie – easily the best in the Twilight franchise, isn’t even going to come close to Toy Story 3’s summer score at the box office. As of this writing, Edward and Jacob sit a cool $100 million behind Buzz and Woody. Hell, it hasn’t even beaten its predecessor, The Twilight Saga: New Moon. So,

Continue Reading

Movie Review: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (B)

By ANDY MORGAN Making fun of Twilight fans and bemoaning Stephanie Meyer’s novels and the subsequent movies is almost as easy as drumming up sarcastic jabs about Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton or Miley Cyrus. There’s no effort required. It’s easy. And it’s also out of control. It’s almost as popular to dump on the vampire-werewolf franchise as it is all the rage to scoop up Team Jacob or Team Edward paraphernalia at Hot Topic. Every time I see a teen

Continue Reading

Devin Faraci’s Twilight Tantrum is Hilarious!

I haven’t read one word of Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight series, but I have seen the movies and they’re nothing special. I have read two pages of Meyer’s novel, The Host, and I thought it was absolute poop. Not just poop, in fact, but cat poop, which is the worst. At any rate, I’m not going to start banging the I-Hate-Twilight drum, because I also refuse to jump on it’s sibling, the I-Dry-Hump-Twilight bandwagon. I prefer to stay Switzerland on this

Continue Reading

Site Footer

Sliding Sidebar

Categories

Archives