I realize it’s easy and popular to bash the Twihards, Stephanie Meyer’s craptastic writing and the whole fabric of the Twilight universe, but while I poke fun at the fanbase (divided equally between cougars and those who just bought training bras), I do think some people tend to bash the movies and books simply because of the mass appeal. However, with that said, when I see Twilight fans sending ignorant hate mail, it just makes me want to mock them ceaselessly.
Check out the email below, sent to George Roush of the website LatinoReview.com. If you’re having a bad Friday and need a good laugh, read Kayla Patterson’s words below or visit their website to see the email complete with attached images. Try not to punch your own loins in the process. Yes, she is that dumb.
To whom this may concern:
This movie was a complete waste and I feel that it offends ALL Twilight Fans around the world, that including myself. For one, it was a COMPLETE remaking of the Wolf Pack from the Twilight Saga: New Moon. It gives the werewolves a bad name and makes them look like some deformed mutation of a rabid dog. I actually started to like werewolves after seeing Jacob Black and all his awesomeness on the big screen at the movies. That was until I saw your crappy remake of what you call to be a “were wolf”. I don’t see how you live with yourself for making it the way you did. If I made this movie, I would be ashamed to even admit that I owned it. How can a werewolf be killed with a silver bullet? Better yet, have you saw the transformation of the man that is “supposed” to be the wolf? He sits in some chair and his entire body turns in to some mutated freak. If you would watch the transformation of Jacob Black, (Taylor Lautner) he doesn’t come close to looking as fake, cheap and or mutated as the wolf man. You tell me, who looks to be the better werewolf. Your stupid Wolf Movie didn’t even make the top Movie for the charts; Valentines Day WITH TAYLOR Lautner! Get that this is MY oppinion and I felt I wanted to express it because I saw that your
email was on your site. I wanted to let you know this is what i thought of the wolf man that sucks.
FREAKIN LAUTNER DID!
Faithful readers of AndyatTheMovies.com probably saw a post a few days ago that featured some new Levi lovin’ images from the upcoming (June 2010) release of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. We have since been asked formally by Summit Entertainment’s legal counsel to take the images off the site. You can read the full text of the letter after the jump.
I can’t imagine why Summit wouldn’t want a little free press, even if I am mocking the film to some extent. But more importantly, what are they trying to protect? Secrets from the movie? I doubt it, because those images are so bland and non-descript they could have been from any of the three Twilight movies. Seems to be they’re being heavy-handed and uptight, but that’s ok, because while I can’t share the images any more, I can share an artist’s interpretation of what was shown in the images. Click for the full-sized masterpiece.
Enjoy.
Continue reading ‘Twilight Eclipse Levi Lovin’ Photos Removed via Cease and Desist’
Oh, Nelly! Twihards are going to poop their pants over this news! Not only will fans of Edward Furrybrows, Jacob Wolfsack and Bella Sadpants be able to swoon and lust over their Stephanie Meyer-created crazy characters, but – BUT – they’ll be able to get their fix while watching The Twilight Saga: Eclipse on the very, very, very big screen of IMAX. Holy cuss!
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse is directed by David Slade (30 Days of Night, Hard Candy) and continues the vampire-werewolf-depressed-chick saga started in Twilight and The Twilight Saga: New Moon. I don’t know much about the plot and I just had dinner, so I didn’t want to look, but something tells me that crazy vampire Victoria (this time played by Bryce Dallas Howard) will be out to get Bella, and Bella will still be giving Jacob the shaft whilst entertaining the pasty-skinned douche known as Edward. Everyone is telling me this one will have more action, too! Oh, boy! Can’t wait!
Sigh. Please, Twilight fans, let me know if I got that right. I’m guessing I did.
Your a dude. You like the ladies. Your girlfriend/wife/significant other wants you to see The Twilight Saga: New Moon, but you can’t think of anything more excruciating. A trip to the dentist for a root canal sounds better. You’d even rather watch reruns of Little House on the Prairie while having uncontrollable diarrhea. Anything but Edward and Bella.
Well, fellas, say hi to Ashely Greene. She played Alice Cullen in last year’s Twilight and is reprising the role in The Twilight Saga: New Moon and The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. She is amazingly hot and this picture from her Maxim photo shoot proves that fact. So, yeah, maybe shelling out a full-priced ticket for this vampire chick flick isn’t such a terrible idea after all.
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Click for full-size Ashley.
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Ashley as Alice Cullen in Twilight
Do you know who Christian Serratos is? Wait, let me answer for you: no.
I didn’t either until she bared her booty for PETA in a Twilight-esque advertisement speaking out against wearing fur. According to IMDB.com, Ms. Serratos portrayed Angela Weber in Twilight and is slated to reprise the role in next week’s The Twilight Saga: New Moon and June 2010’s The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. According to The Twilight Saga Wiki, Angela becomes a good friend to Bella after her depression in New Moon. Looks like Serratos/Angela has shown her new moon, as well!
Ba dum dah! Ching! Thanks, I’ll be here all week.
Personally, I’m not a fan of PETA and its tactics, but I do think wearing fur is a tacky fashion choice. As far as this ad goes, well, you have to hand it to PETA for milking Twilight to their advantage. I’m sure it won’t hurt Ms. Serratos to bare her airbrushed derriere either. Probably the only one fuming about this is Stephanie Meyer. Perhaps Oprah will bring this up when she chats with Stephanie Meyer this Friday on her show. I doubt it, but you know Meyer’s Mormonism, politics and possibly gay and lesbian issues are likely on tap.
Either way, click for Christian Serratos PETA ad. It’s just a bare butt, but still, probably NSFW.
And by WTF, I mean what’s the big freakin’ deal? Of course, I am posting them, so that makes me sort of a Twileech, but really these are so nondescript they could be from any one of the three movies. Oh, heavens! Look! It’s Edward and Bella standing in a forest and surely he’s telling her she’ll never see him again or something else ragingly melodramatic.
I’m betting Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are just about done with the Twilight franchise at this point. If they didn’t have the off-screen romance and huge amounts of freetime ganja smoking, those two would be ready to physically harm the next teenager (read: middle-aged woman) screaming “Oh Em Gee! Edward and Bella!”
At any rate, November 20th and The Twilight Saga: New Moon will come and go quickly, but not to fret Twihards, lurking around the corner, cowered in the shadows with his frumpy hair, pale skin and almost-a-unibrow, is Edward Cullen and the June 30th release of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. Behold the vanilla images below to whet your appetite for the movie’s summer release.
I’m sure if you’ve read, scoured, obsessed, drooled and sweated over Stephanie Meyer’s “Twilight” novels, than you know who Victoria is, and chances are you have a poster of actress Rachelle Lefevre on your wall or behind your door. Lefevre played Victoria in last November’s “Twilight,” but as of today, she’s been axed from the third film – “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse” – for Bryce Dallas Howard, seen most recently as Kate Conner in “Terminator Salvation,” but better known for her roles in “The Village” and “Lady in the Water.” I applaud the hiring because Bryce Dallas Howard is hot, which surprises me because she has Ron Howard DNA.
At any rate, I still don’t know who Victoria is, but it looks like she hung out with those nasty vampires from the first movie – the guy with the dreadlocks and the dude who was the bad guy in “Never Back Down.” If you’ve read the books, please share with the readers of AATM.com why we should give a flying leap who plays Victoria in the remaining “Twilight” movies.
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