Ashley Greene is a Reason for Dudes to See New Moon

Your a dude. You like the ladies. Your girlfriend/wife/significant other wants you to see The Twilight Saga: New Moon, but you can’t think of anything more excruciating. A trip to the dentist for a root canal sounds better. You’d even rather watch reruns of Little House on the Prairie while having uncontrollable diarrhea. Anything but Edward and Bella.

Well, fellas, say hi to Ashely Greene. She played Alice Cullen in last year’s Twilight and is reprising the role in The Twilight Saga: New Moon and The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. She is amazingly hot and this picture from her Maxim photo shoot proves that fact. So, yeah, maybe shelling out a full-priced ticket for this vampire chick flick isn’t such a terrible idea after all.

Twilight’s No Name Actress Wants You to Say No to Fur

Do you know who Christian Serratos is? Wait, let me answer for you: no.

I didn’t either until she bared her booty for PETA in a Twilight-esque advertisement speaking out against wearing fur. According to IMDB.com, Ms. Serratos portrayed Angela Weber in Twilight and is slated to reprise the role in next week’s The Twilight Saga: New Moon and June 2010′s The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. According to The Twilight Saga Wiki, Angela becomes a good friend to Bella after her depression in New Moon. Looks like Serratos/Angela has shown her new moon, as well!

Ba dum dah! Ching! Thanks, I’ll be here all week.

Personally, I’m not a fan of PETA and its tactics, but I do think wearing fur is a tacky fashion choice. As far as this ad goes, well, you have to hand it to PETA for milking Twilight to their advantage. I’m sure it won’t hurt Ms. Serratos to bare her airbrushed derriere either. Probably the only one fuming about this is Stephanie Meyer. Perhaps Oprah will bring this up when she chats with Stephanie Meyer this Friday on her show. I doubt it, but you know Meyer’s Mormonism, politics and possibly gay and lesbian issues are likely on tap.

Either way, click for Christian Serratos PETA ad. It’s just a bare butt, but still, probably NSFW.

Twilight’s Volturi And the Red Eyes of Doom

Man, the bullet-train production speed of these Twilight movies is nothing short of mind-boggling. Not long ago, Dakota Fanning and Michael Sheen were cast as members of the antagonistic and powerful Volturi, a vampire coven introduced in New Moon who hangs out in Italy and polices the world’s vampires with red-eyed authority. Now the two are in posters and a movie that’s coming out in 80 days. Summit means business and are assembly-lining these suckers while the Twilight passion is still hot. And, if our readers here at AATM are any indication… it’s piping.

Of course, if you’re a Twihard (you guys have seriously got to rethink your naming conventions) you know all this and just want to see the recently released character images for Alec (Cameron “My, you’ve grown” Bright), Aro (Michael Sheen) and Jane (Dakota Fanning). Because I like Michael Sheen so much, he gets the front page spot. If you’re looking for Dakota and the other kid (and MTV exclusive) dressed in faintly Victorian black while enjoying a little brown cloud, they’re after the jump… … Continue Reading

Trailer Tuesday? Make That New Moon Tuesday!

There’s nothing more to be said about Twilight: New Moon. It’s coming up super-fast, women get all swooney at the thought of it and guys wonder why because vampires are dumb.

There’s nothing much to say about the poster, either. It’s the one the Twihards have been waiting for– a beefy and defensive Jacob, a “morose is the new black” Bella and a pouty, slouchy Edward– all ready to adorn your wall, desktop wallpaper or both.

Twilight New Moon Clip to Air on MTV

Andy Samburg is about the only reason in the world I’ll be DVRing the MTV Movie Awards (no way in hell am I watching them live; there is great power in the fast forward button) set to air live on May 31, 2009 at 9PM EST, but if you’re a “Twilight” fan you’ll get your fix when Edward, Bella and Jacob, aka Robert Pattison, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner, present an exclusive clip from the forthcoming “New Moon” during the “awards ceremony.” “Twilight” leads all movies with seven nominations. Academy Award voters must feel the hot glow of shame for missing the brilliance of this movie.

If the “Twilight” trio wasn’t enough to get your intrigue set to DEFCON 1, the awards show will also have live performances from Eminem and The Kings of Leon. Other celebs due for appearances are Sandra Bullock, Dwayne Johnson, Sienna Miller, Channing Tatum, Danny McBride, Abigail Breslin, Bradley Cooper, Thomas Lennon, Denzel Washington, Cameron Diaz, Ryan Reynolds, Will Ferrell, and Vanessa Hudgens. And if that looked like celebrity keyword-stuffing, well, that’s because it was.

Obligatory MTV Movie Awards Post

Yawn.

So MTV just announced the nominees for its largely pathetic annual movie marketing awards show. No big surprise here – “Twilight” racked up seven nominations, including Best Actress Who Really is a Huge Pothead and Shiny Skin My Butt Award (also known as the OMG! You Pasty Bastard! Award). I kid, of course, but really, that’s about how credible MTV’s golden popcorn trophies are in the realm of cinema.

The only thing remotely good about the MTV Movie Awards are the skits done each year. My mind is somewhat fuzzy, but I believe last year’s were so-so and the year before absolutely sucked. Perhaps with Andy Samberg on board as host this year’s show will be full of laughs. I wet my pants every time I see Mark Walhberg talks to animals, so there is definitely a chance.

Despite the recent drought, there have been some gems through the years and my personal favorite is Vince Vaughn and Ben Stiller pitching to Peter Jackson a few sequel ideas for “The Lord of the Rings.” You can see that below and the rest of MTV’s Movie Award skits (including “Tankman”) by clicking the “more” link below.

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Twilight Nabs Its Eclipse Director

Good grief, Twilight just won’t stop giving.

More news today– while Stephanie Meyers scratches her head over Deseret Book pulling her Twilight books off store shelves*, she’s responding to the news of David Slade being chosen as director for Twilight: Eclipse.

“I am thrilled that David Slade will be directing ECLIPSE. He’s a visionary filmmaker who has so much to offer this franchise. From the beginning, we’ve been blessed with wonderful directorial talent for the Twilight Saga, and I’m so happy that ECLIPSE will be carrying on with that tradition.”

As opposed to:

“I am kind of pissed David Slade will be directing ECLIPSE. He’s a visionary filmmaker who has so much to offer this franchise, but hopefully, it’s more than he offered up for 30 DAYS OF NIGHT, because that movie sucked. From the beginning, we’ve been blessed with decent directorial talent, even though Catherine Hardwick was bat-turd crazy on set and the DVD and made a movie on a forced shoe-string budget… and I’m kind of blah that ECLIPSE will be carrying on with that tradition.”

David Slade, no doubt, is a talented director in the visuals department. Both Hard Candy (I.E.- the cinematic equivalent of garlic and holy water for pedophiles) and 30 Days of Night were aesthetically beautiful, but some of the directorial choices (screeching, downs syndrome zombie vampires?) for character as laid out in the latter were poor. So, David’s shooting 50%. Will Eclipse make it 66.3? Will the angst-ridden glares ever cease? Will the sparklies be upgraded?

You only have about a year and a half to wait.

* ( ” Deseret Book- I purchased Twilight under the assumption it was about the trials of the pioneers or at the very least a biography on a well known Church leader but I was shocked, SHOCKED to find a sordid tale about spooning and hormonal vampires. To combat this evil influence, I burned the book immediately and hummed a hymn in my head. Spooning and hormonal vampires, I’ll have you know, are not at all in line with the standards I’ve come to expect from Deseret Book. I will now boycott your store and am forwarding this email to all my Facebook friends, encouraging them to do the same, which they probably will– right after returning from their “I love Edward Cullen” needlepoint Homemaking Meeting. Sincerely- Mrs. R. Amey Umptum”)

The (Pretty) Boys Who Cried Wolf

The following photo is one that will probably make the Twi-hards (Really? That’s what Twilight fans have named themselves?) swoon while their male partners find retribution and solace in breaking out a quick list of homophobic insults.

USA Today has premiered a promo shot for Twilight: New Moon. No, it’s not Edward– it’s the “Wolf Pack” boys exposing eight nipples, four belly buttons and a Photoshop workout that would make Tony Horton sad.

Once again, the image is an exclusive. Click the rejected International Male: Abercrombie Woodsman Edition image below to see all the shirtlessness magnified.

In the mean time, New Moon is currently filming in the land of cheap filmmaking (Oh, Canada!) and is on the super-duper-duper fast track for release later this year. If you think that’s fast (it is) the third book in the series, Eclipse, will begin shooting while New Moon is still in theaters– which makes sense in the moneymaking scheme of things, as Summit is wise to assume Twilight’s fandemonium as incredibly finite.

Hallelujah.

Michael Sheen in “New Moon”

Michael Sheen, most recently seen as David Frost in Ron Howard’s Oscar nominated “Frost/Nixon,” has signed on to play the head of the Volturi coven of vampires in “The Twilight Saga: New Moon.” Sheen must be relieved to finally shed the werewolf mask (he played a lycan in all three “Underworld” films) for that of a vampire. Boy, I know I would be. Them werewolves are stink-a-rific.

Oh, and in case you’ve been in Outer Space for the last year, “New Moon” is the sequel to last November’s box office darling, “Twilight.” Robert “Soon To Be Typecast” Pattison returns for the sequel as Edward Shinyskin Furybrows, as does Kristen “I’m a Pothead” Stewart as Bella Swan.”