I never saw the 1982 Arnold Schwarzenegger version of Conan the Barbarian. My parents thought the R-rated sword and sorcery flick was a little too violent and a little too boobtastic for my eight year-old eyes. I did, however, see Conan the Destroyer in 1984, but that was PG and had been re-cut by director Richard Fleischer so it could secure the more kid and teen friendly rating. Too bad all those young people can’t exorcise the image of Grace Jones in her armored one-piece warrior thong from their minds. At any rate, after watching the teaser trailer for Conan the Barbarian (in 3D!), something tells me my Conan viewing will have to be limited to everyone’s favorite TBS redhead.
I have no clue about the plot and honestly I really don’t care. But here’s what you should know: Conan is played by Jason Momoa. Yeah, I know. I didn’t know who he was either. I Googled him and his claim to fame is a four-year stint on television’s Stargate Atlantis. Rachel Nichols (G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra), Stephen Lang (Avatar), Rose McGowan (Machete) and Ron Perlman (Hellboy II: The Golden Army) also star alongside Momoa. The director is Marcus Nispel and he knows a thing or two about remakes, as was behind the lens for both The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday the 13th reboots. He did, however, direct Pathfinder, which is actually kind of a cool movie.
Check out the trailer and let me know your thoughts. I vote crap. What about you?