For the most part, I don’t hate holidays. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Memorial Day and their brethren are all good. They mean days off from work, sleeping in and general de-stressing from the daily grind. In fact, if we really want to shift the morale of the United States citizenry from crap to springtime, we should add more time-off-from-work holidays to the calendar.
Still, I won’t lie, I do hate Valentine’s Day. Probably because you don’t get the day off, and probably because nothing stresses me out more than trying to find a way on February 14th to show my lovely wife that I love her. A card just won’t do it, and chocolates, at least nowadays, say “Snack on these, Chubby.” And maybe you’re living in the lap of luxury, but I can’t afford trips and rings and all of that glittery crap the TV wants to sell me right before V-Day.
So, yeah, I hate Valentine’s Day. Boo. And because I hate Valentine’s Day, this near-remake for Love, Actually, aptly called – wait for it, wait for it – Valentine’s Day, can kiss my lily white butt cheeks, too.
Check out the trailer below and give me your thoughts. Off the top of my head, I only have a one: Julia Roberts has horse teeth and is old. Yeah, I said it. So there. Good DAY!