Twilight Eclipse Trailer = More of the Same

Twilight is what it is: Love it, hate it or care less.

I don’t begrudge anyone their love for the series, but tend to hold coats in the “care less” line. The new trailer for the latest entry (directed by 30 Days of Night‘s David Slade and chomping at the bit for its June 30 release) doesn’t help, considering it could have easily been used for last year’s New Moon. Has such a simple story ever felt like its climax has been so needlessly strung out? You know, besides Harry Potter?

Bella: I hate my life… wait! Oh, you’re hot. And pale.
Edward: Yes, I am. I’m also a 100-something year old pedophile, but luckily I’m trapped in this teenage body because I’m a vampire.
Bella: –Swoon– I’m so in love with you.
Edward: I love you too. And by I love you too, I mean you smell really good and I want to eat your neck.
Bella: Go for it, but I think some other vampires want my neck.
Edward: No they don’t. I killed them.
Bella: Swoon.
Jacob: Wait, Bella. I love you too… but I’m a werewolf.
Bella: Gross. Wet dogs stink.
Edward: Hey guys, what’s up? I went away for a while but now I’m back.
Bella: I want you in my underpants.
Edward: You sure? Ok. Beat it, Jacob.
Bella: I’m preggers.
Edward: Sweet.
Bella: Here, Jacob. I like you. You can have my vampire daughter.
Jacob: Sweet. I love her.
Bella: Swoon.


That said… Cougars, unfulfilled housewives, teen ladies and the handful of guys still in the closet about loving this stuff, your wait is over. Behold the trailer for Twilight: Eclipse.

8 comments On Twilight Eclipse Trailer = More of the Same

  • Although I didn’t appreciate your sarcasm Dan I was excited to see the trailer! I don’t expect you to understand the excitement so I don’t hold it against you. I loved the books and I have enjoyed Twilight and New Moon and believe me I am ready for more of the same! June 10th can’t come quick enough for all the, how did you put it, Cougars, unfulfilled housewives, teen ladies and the handful of guys still in the closet!

  • Don’t front. You appreciated my sarcasm.

  • All I know is I’m going to fight for you until your heart stops beating. TEAM JACOB all the way, assholes!

  • That’s good stuff. Thanks for filling me in on the story. Now I don’t have to watch it.

  • Dan I thought I was Dead to you! Hahahaha.

  • My gawd she is a terrible writer, such drivel! King was right when he said she was a hack.

    Does it ever end?

  • it was funny commentary dan… and i adore twilight… the best 1 so far… new moon has about 30 mins of stuff worth watching… lets pray they dont f*ck up eclipse…


  • Twilight News Now

    Haha, despite this good laugh I am still excited for the movie. But thanks for that awesome summary lol.

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