So there’s a new poster for the upcoming all-odds-are-on-awful G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra that opens in August. It prominently features the lower anterior money-maker for Sienna Miller (aka The Baroness), two cordless Black and Decker Do-it-Herself drills, icy-hot Photoshop effects and some good and bad guys, too. It also features an ode to Baroness Booty tagline: Evil Never Looked So Good. In other news, Chewbacca’s bowcaster was reported as stolen. Scarlett had no reply at the time of this …
Month: May 2009
If you happened to watch the 4 season run of the critically acclaimed Battlestar Galactica over the last five and a half years, you’ll know Katee Sackhoff played Starbuck, the pissy, angry, almost utterly unlikeable tomboy who, in the end, may have been an angel after all, so her sucking all 4 four episodes can be excused. Or something. To Sackhoff’s credit, she played the character with as much sincerity and gusto as could be mustered, but she’s yet been …
All I can say is this: I “chip” you not. Oh, and this: The cutesy marketing braintrust that came up with these puntastic title needs to be sent to a lifeboat adrift in the Pacific so they can spread their stinky brand of cutesy cheer all over the face of a rabid shark. Still, Merry Christmas. Early.
I was perusing the web this morning and came across these “Twilight: New Moon” images at Entertainment Weekly’s website. I’ll be frank, I have no idea what is even happening in these photos, but my guess is Bella is pouting in both and these rugged, over-stylized vampires are giving her tender, yet firm guidance. And of course the one with Edward Sparklepants is definitely ending in a cold, pasty kiss. These do nothing for me, but if you’re a “Twilight” …
Its official, folks – Christian “It’s F***ing Distracting” Bale and his “Terminator Salvation” action extravaganza was not only beaten by “Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian” at the box office this past weekend, but was soundly spanked like a whiny, petulant child, which, in Bale’s case, might be somewhat true. And thus it can now be etched in stone: The Fandango Five can suck it. NATM: BOTS, as it’s called by text messengers everywhere, earned a weekend gross …
The Fandango Five tried to make me look like a cotton-headed-ninny-muggins on Friday with the irrelevant tidbit that “Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian” was number four in online ticket sales leading into the weekend, hence giving the impression it wouldn’t come close to touching “Terminator Salvation” for the top spot, and maybe would even be trumped by “Star Trek” or “Angels & Demons.” But, see, here’s the thing: I am never wrong! So, with great humility I …
Eeek! So much for everyone fawning over Quentin Tarantino’s supposed greatest screenplay ever, i.e. the oft-reported on “Inglourious Basterds.” Word out of the Cannes Film Festival is mixed and RottenTomatoes.com has the movie at 57% on the Tomatoemeter, with 14 reviews posted (eight fresh, six rotten). And don’t think those snooty French filmgoers and their love of aberrant sex and all things boring have this film painted into a corner. No, sir, our beloved American critics are pooping on this …
While Inglorious Basterds delights and revels in things I think most human beings should find repugnant, I’m going all apologist after viewing the “Jail Break” clip below. Between the irreverent entry and playful zing of Brad Pitt’s introduction of the Basterds to the legendary Ennio Marricone’s bouncy score, it’s hard not to feel a little twinge of fun, film-geek anticipation at Quentin Tarantino’s deft play for attention. Tarantino– you bastalonie. Fire Roth as your spokesperson, because now I’m listening. For …