I’m not going to waste your time or space on AATM with an elaborate review of 2012. All you need to know is Roland Emmerich continues his 13 year end-of-the-word-destruction fetish, this time linking the end of the Mayan long count calendar on December 21, 2012, to solar flares and aligned planets that spell sayonara to Mother Earth via earthquakes, volcanoes and massive tsunamis. And, in the end, this almost three-hour movie has nothing to offer but a few mildly …
Author: Andy
2012 hits theaters this Friday and NASA’s a little worried folks might go cuckoo and get a little antsy and David Koresch-ey with images of Yellowstone blowing it’s stack, Los Angeles sliding into the Pacific Ocean and the White House getting bulldozed by an aircraft carrier. I know, it puckers my bum also, but the all-knowing men of science want anyone getting sweaty pits about 2012 to take a deep breath and just keep living. Here is an excerpt from …
Your a dude. You like the ladies. Your girlfriend/wife/significant other wants you to see The Twilight Saga: New Moon, but you can’t think of anything more excruciating. A trip to the dentist for a root canal sounds better. You’d even rather watch reruns of Little House on the Prairie while having uncontrollable diarrhea. Anything but Edward and Bella. Well, fellas, say hi to Ashely Greene. She played Alice Cullen in last year’s Twilight and is reprising the role in The …
I realize this is just Dane Cook having a Cialis moment about what movies he’d like to be a part of, but honestly, if this ever happened, I’d take all my Christopher Nolan movies out into the street and set them on fire. I’d also set my Batman underpants on fire and would drive to Joel Schumacher’s house, drop to one knee and punch him in the satchel. Yes, that’s how terrible, awful and unforgiving a Dane Cook Batman casting …
Remember how cool the 1981 version of Clash of the Titans used to be when you were five years-old and the Ray Harryhausen creatures looked ever-so-real? Remember how lame that movie looks now? Don’t fret, because from the looks of this teaser trailer, director Louis Leterrier has made the tale of Perseus, Andromeda, Medussa and the Krakken all shiny again, with a little bit of kick-ass video game zip to boot. My only problem with this trailer? The tagline at …
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, based on the popular video game franchise, hits theaters in May 2010 and stars Jake Gyllenhaal (Zodiac), Ben Kingsly (Elegy) and Gemma Arterton (Quantum of Solace). It’s being produced by Jerry Bruckheimer and directed by Mike Newell. Based on the trailer below, I’m a little underwhelmed. But then I’m a bit biased, because I think the video game is straight up lame. And while Arterton is smokin’ hot, Jake Gyllenhaal might one of …
Do you know who Christian Serratos is? Wait, let me answer for you: no. I didn’t either until she bared her booty for PETA in a Twilight-esque advertisement speaking out against wearing fur. According to IMDB.com, Ms. Serratos portrayed Angela Weber in Twilight and is slated to reprise the role in next week’s The Twilight Saga: New Moon and June 2010’s The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. According to The Twilight Saga Wiki, Angela becomes a good friend to Bella after her …
A few weeks ago I posted the original ending/alternate ending video for Paranormal Activity, but soon thereafter the video was removed from YouTube. Here it is again, this time from www.worstpreviews.com. As I stated before, the new ending, supposedly the one suggested by Steven Spielberg, where (SPOILER HIGHLIGHT TO READ) Micah is thrown into the camera, presumably already dead, by Katie, is by far the best ending. I appreciate what Peli was doing below, but it’s just not got the …