While the motto for the first 30 years of my life could easily be described as “Live for today because the nukes are coming tomorrow”, the motto of my last four years would probably be “Vampires are dumb”. I know I’m in the minority here but I’m pretty sure that somewhere around 1987, scientific research did indeed show that vampires, with their crazy eyes and pointy-toothed hissing preferences, were somewhere around 93% lame. So hey, imagine my surprise when I …
Category: Coming Soon
The upcoming film District 9 has been working on gaining your attention by not really trying hard to gain your attention. In some circles, this is called viral, but viral actually spreads. Nevertheless, District 9 has released another “viral” video in its line of its universe-based trailers. I’m not a the biggest fan of the technique and voice over. It feels too Starship Troopers/campy, while the film footage contrasts gritty and radtastic. Maybe I’m over anlayzing. Maybe I’m not, but …
Damn you Stephen Sommers. George Lucas has already sullied my childhood with the pooptastic “Star Wars” prequels, and now you come a long and fail miserably at bringing Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow, Duke, Cobra Commando and Destro to the big screen. How do I know this? Easy, because this second trailer you’ve assembled for “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra” is just like the first – hollow, effects-laden, silly and ridiculous – and leaves me with zero desire or anticipation …
I don’t think you can say Tim Burton is a bad director, but to call anything he does “visionary” any more is a big, fat overstatement. His stuff isn’t so much “visionary” as simply stamped “Tim Burton”– all the stripes and gaunt makeup and twisted architecture are variants on everything else he’s done to date and is expected. Of course, the whole conceit usually works, but I do have two nitpicks/requests: A) Give the hollow/red-tinged eyeball socket a rest and …
So everyone knows Inglorious Basterds is coming, but you may not know what it’s about beyond a bunch of hairy Americans putting Bowie Knife and baseball bat to Nazi noggin. Wonder no more. The new trailer reveals the alternate universe plot and has worked my heart over from brittle and jaded to warm and mushy.
I don’t think this trailer makes Zombieland look particularly great (the zom-com genre was played well and once with Shaun of the Dead and has grown a little sleepy since), but there’s no denying the joy found in Woody Harrelson’s impish and casual zombie annihilation skills and, as Andy and I just agreed, the poster is fantastic. Zombieland opens in October, which, thanks to a craptastically rain-soaked summer, doesn’t feel all that far away.
Behold the (I-talian?) Inglourious Basterds one sheet. Sure the poster uses recycled images, feels a lot bit like Valkyrie and I really, really, really want to punch that smirk off Eli Roth’s face , but none of that matters because it’s still undeniably bold and undeniably awesome.
When you promote a film with the tagline “from the director of Wild Hogs,” what does the say about the intelligence level of our society? I’ll tell you what it says, it makes crystal clear that we are on the bullet train to Armageddon. At any rate, “Old Dogs” has all sorts of suck written on it, from top-to-bottom and from side-to-side. With that said, getting whacked in the balls is always funny, so enjoy that part of this trailer for “Old …