So apparently, there’s this obscure movie opening on Friday. Something about a Moon and a closeted vampire, a weightlifting werewolf and a mopey girl? OK. Fine. You know it, we know it, and unless you’re pop-culture idiot, you know it. Twilight: New Moon is here. Never the kind to shy away from hit-whoring (we’re still up and coming after all– tell a friend!), we’ve got something to say about it. As a dude, the whole Twilight phenomenon has passed me …
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Rumor has it Twilight fans were only a breath away from eclipsing Star Wars and Star Trek fans as the biggest dorks on the planet, but these two girls going bananas over New Moon actors Edi Gathegi (Laurent) and Jamie Campbell Bower (Caius) apparently tipped the scales in favor of the Twihards. Thanks to the Salt Lake Tribune for the image, taken yesterday at the Fashion Place Mall in Murray.
I’m not going to waste your time or space on AATM with an elaborate review of 2012. All you need to know is Roland Emmerich continues his 13 year end-of-the-word-destruction fetish, this time linking the end of the Mayan long count calendar on December 21, 2012, to solar flares and aligned planets that spell sayonara to Mother Earth via earthquakes, volcanoes and massive tsunamis. And, in the end, this almost three-hour movie has nothing to offer but a few mildly …
As 2012 opens today in an all-out effort to clobber your senses with visions of the world “eating it”, it’s time to reflect on a lineage of disaster that spans back almost 40 years. Some highlight the local disaster, others global– but no matter their scale, nine out of ten movie-goers agree: watching lots of people die for fakes is fun. Nowhere? There is no “nowhere” any more. (Dan) The Day After (1983) Directed by Nicholas “Star Trek II” Meyer, …
2012 hits theaters this Friday and NASA’s a little worried folks might go cuckoo and get a little antsy and David Koresch-ey with images of Yellowstone blowing it’s stack, Los Angeles sliding into the Pacific Ocean and the White House getting bulldozed by an aircraft carrier. I know, it puckers my bum also, but the all-knowing men of science want anyone getting sweaty pits about 2012 to take a deep breath and just keep living. Here is an excerpt from …
Your a dude. You like the ladies. Your girlfriend/wife/significant other wants you to see The Twilight Saga: New Moon, but you can’t think of anything more excruciating. A trip to the dentist for a root canal sounds better. You’d even rather watch reruns of Little House on the Prairie while having uncontrollable diarrhea. Anything but Edward and Bella. Well, fellas, say hi to Ashely Greene. She played Alice Cullen in last year’s Twilight and is reprising the role in The …
I realize this is just Dane Cook having a Cialis moment about what movies he’d like to be a part of, but honestly, if this ever happened, I’d take all my Christopher Nolan movies out into the street and set them on fire. I’d also set my Batman underpants on fire and would drive to Joel Schumacher’s house, drop to one knee and punch him in the satchel. Yes, that’s how terrible, awful and unforgiving a Dane Cook Batman casting …
Quickly dipping back to the same “found footage” well that spawned your shopping trip for new underwear after watching Paranormal Activity, camcorder-wielding director Oren Peli is running with his next concept: Area 51. The premise? Three teens and their new digital video recording device find scary/alarming/crazy alien unmentionables going on around the famed Air Force base. It’s some crazy s***! From an early, leaked synopsis (Latino Review— you scoundrels!), folks are already titling this one Paranormal Activity II: Area 51. …