“Vampires are lame. LAME.” That’s a mantra around here and one, if we’re being honest, one more people should live by. With it, we’d be free of the embarrassingly self-titled Twihards, Victorian vampire lovers (I’m looking at you pale Goth guy/girl with the black buckles and straps) and the Downs Syndrome “please don’t scream again because I don’t like punching myself in the face” screechers from 30 Days of Night. All the unhealthy life-longing and self-loathing could then be channeled …
Blog Posts
Sorry to The Fourth Kind (which I mostly enjoyed), but when you get schooled by ass-eyes Scrooge, Michael Jackson and a movie about soldiers and goats, I think it’s safe to say most folks think talk of alien abduction is silly. Granted, $12 million at the box office isn’t terrible, but unless TFK can generate some positive word-of-mouth (see: Paranormal Activity), it will die a quick death at the hands of 2012 and The Twilight Saga: New Moon in the …
There’s a Monster Outside my Room. Can I Have a Glass of Water? (Andy) Signs (2002): Before M. Night Shyamalan started pushing out cinematic turds and prior to Mel Gibson going anti-Semitic and Joaquin Phoenix growing a Grizzly Adams beard and becoming a rapper, the trio made a film that is equal parts spiritual, scary and sci-fi. And best of all, Shyamalan, until the absurd ending, did it all with subtle terrors and bubbling tension. I don’t think aliens are …
I Just Like to Smile…Smiling’s My Favorite (Andy) Elf (2003): Before Iron Man, actor/director Jon Favreau’s greatest achievement was Elf, a movie so enriched in holiday spirit, laughs and heart it literally smells like candy canes and gingerbread. Elf inhabits the best-of-both worlds, as there’s enough light fare for the kiddies, but also enough Will Ferrell (Land of the Lost) zing to satiate the adults. If you missed this flick, I suggest a viewing ASAP. Nothing is funnier than Ferrell …
I won’t lie: Back in September when I watched the trailer for The Fourth Kind (and posted it for Trailer Tuesday), my man parts shrunk and I had to do the All-Bran 10 Day Challenge just to cleanse myself from the measure of scariness the short preview walloped on my psyche. Frankly, I was a little perplexed, because I generally find the whole aliens and alien abduction conversation completely and unequivocally ridiculous. I’m sure my alien atheism probably will piss …
Director Robert Zemeckis has a lot to live up to. His motion capture adaptation of the perennial holiday ghost story A Christmas Carol has 150 years of being realized, re-born and re-interpreted again and again. If you’ve been alive at any point since 1843, you probably have your favorite iteration, ranging from the original publication to the stage plays to the 1951 film classic (winner!). It’s clear Robert Zemeckis realized this when he approached his wowie tech version of A …
Dan will have a review of Disney’s A Christmas Carol later this week, so I don’t want to spoil his thoughts or give any details away, but I will say this: Despite all it’s lavishness, it’s missing one key element – heart. In fact, to better illustrate and to introduce my pick for Trailer Tuesday, I will say DreamWorks Animation’s forthcoming How to Train Your Dragon has more heart in two and half minutes than Robert Zemeckis’ A Christmas Carol …
1999 was the year the world almost came to an end thanks to the number 19 and the year 2k, but the world ushered in the Willenium anyway. It was also the year The Blair Witch Project became the movie phenomenon of last decade. Naturally, the guys behind Blair Witch see the this decade’s movie phenomenon Paranormal Activity and are a little pouty, despite the fact they didn’t want to be attached to endless sequels and therefore walked away from …