It’s Official, Twihards: One Year Wait Between Breaking Dawn Part One and Two

Twilight fans have been a spoiled bunch. In less than two years they’ve enjoyed three movies – Twilight, The Twilight Saga: New Moon, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse – hewed from their beloved Stephanie Meyer vampire/werewolf romance series of the same name. Star Wars fans had to wait six years for three movies and even Lord of The Rings groupies had to wait three years for their saga to be completed.

Well, karma has come full circle, my friends. At last Twilight haters will have their revenge.

Twihards were already grumpy about having to wait almost a year and a half between The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (released on June 30, 2010) and The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part I (releasing November 11, 2011), but now they’ll have to wait another year for Breaking Dawn – Part II to hit theaters on November 16, 2012. Despite the wailing, weeping, gnawing and gnashing of teeth by Team Edward and Team Jacob, this is a smart move by Summit Entertainment. This allows them to extend the life of Twilight and milk the franchise for every last drop of cougar cash.

As a side note, and I should point out I’ve never read the Twilight books, I’d like to go on record by saying Breaking Dawn sounds like a crock of shit. Reading the plot summary on Wikipedia has literally made me want to punch my own testicles. All the will-she-or-won’t-she questions are gone and with it the suspense and drama and whatever semblance of a story Meyer had concocted before this fourth book, and that’s being generous. Breaking Dawn seems like Meyer’s attempt at being Switzerland, especially with Jacob “imprinting” himself on Bella’s newborn vampire-human daughter. Oh, you couldn’t have Bella, well hope lil’ sis is good enough. And that’s not all – will someone please explain to me how a vampire, the walking dead, can get a human pregnant? I mean, I’ve heard of shooting blanks, but what is a vampire shooting?

In the end, I see Breaking Dawn as a flimsy, limp capstone to a franchise that was already borderline ridiculous to being with. In the end, I see Meyer’s saga for what it really is: a soap opera, full of kooky creatures and make believe, written as justification for a life’s worth of regretful, logic-based choices. She calls it fiction, but I see a four-part journal entry.

11 comments On It’s Official, Twihards: One Year Wait Between Breaking Dawn Part One and Two

  • I must say I totally agree with you, being a reader of all 4 books. The imprinting was just completely crazy!

    I can…maybe…understand vamps not being totally impotent since you’d expect them to only have sex with their kind where their vampy women are sterile (hey, Meyer needed an angle to get a perfec child into the story so our Bella and Edward could have a real family – *rolls eyes* – while the other Cullen couples are childless. Maybe I’ll swallow that with a grain of salt, but come on with the imprinting bullcrap. Talk about an anti-climactic ending! No life loss save for one person no one cared about. At least Rowling wasn’t afraid to off major characters! An author has to be careful with being so attached to her characters that she goes the unbelievable route to end her story, series in this case. Oh, and Bella as a newborn never lost it like a newborn is supposed to. Just a little sass at Jacob over the imprinting. Give me a break! I get her little power thing, but please gag me with a spoon!

  • Totally agree with you. I have read all four books and honestly Breaking Dawn was just bad. I honestly have no idea why they are even making it into 2 movies. This isn’t like the Harry Potter series where book seven actually had all the vital info to tie all the books together. Nothing really happens in Breaking Dawn in that makes it worthy of being two movies. Eclipse would have been great as two movies since there was a lot of stuff in that book that was left out that would have been entertaining to see. Summit is just trying to suck more money out of people because lets face it, until the Twilight Saga their movies sucked! Also I hate to say it but with each movie the acting seems to get worse but then again they have to deal with the horrible crap that the so called screen writer Melissa Rosenberg has given them. Someone should tell her that ruining someone elses work doesn’t make you a good writer..

    • ANNOYED WITH TWILIGHT HATERS GIRL!

      Ok What thet heck is your problem!? If you dont Damn like the twilight series then dont bother with it! I am all for free speech and rights and everything but Stephanie Myers is a GREAT WRITER SO WHATEVER ABOUT you hating the twilight saga! IF YOU HATE IT STAY THE DAMN AWAY FROM ANYTHING THAT CONSULTS WITH IT! Go watch scooby doo for all us twi fans think! We dont reallly care if you hate it! Get a grip AND LEAVE TWILIGHT THE HELL ALONE! WHY THE HELL DO YOU PEOPLE LIKE TO TRASH AN AUTHORS REPUTATION! STEPHANIE MYERS IS A WELL KNOWN GOOD WRITER! LEAVE THE WOMAN THE HELL ALONE! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL TO WRITE A BOOK EVERYONE IS SAYING THANKS SO YOU MAKE A COUPLE MORE AND THEN COME ACROSS SUCH A PAGE AS THIS! I AM A FELLOW WRITER AND I SWEAR IF I EVER COME ACROSS A PAGE LIKE THIS I WOULD LOOSE HALF OF MY CONFIDENCE! so i have one thing to say:
      YOU DONT LIKE TWILIGHT SAGA? lEAVE IT THE HELL ALONE! U PEOPLE ARE DAMN IDIOTS FOR DOING THIS TO STEPHANIE! AND FOR THE PERSON WHO POSEED THE PAGE IN THE FIRST PLACE. SO YOU HAVENT READ TWILIGHT SAGA HAVE YOU? WELL THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU WRITING IT! YOU ARE PROBABLY A POMPUS AIR HEAD WHO DOESNT CARE ABOUT ANYONES FEELINGS BUT YOURSELF! IDIOTS! MORON! AND SHE IS A PROPER WRITER YOU IDIOT MAN!

      • No matter how hard you try “damn” really isn’t a noun. You can’t tell someone to “STAY THE DAMN AWAY.” That’s just silly.

  • Just all of you shut up and get on with ur own lives. People have there own opinions. P.S breaking dawn is one of the best books so get over it.

  • Totally biased…

  • I love Twilight but those books are not really that well written. I am sad to be waiting so long to see the movies but it could be worse. I have hope that with a good director both the Breaking dawn movies will be good. Eclipse wasn’t my favortie book but I did love the movie. The director really was kind to both Bella and Jacob. In the books he wasn’t so kind and Bella was a bit a a cry baby! But I fell in love with both of them in the movie Eclipse.

    P.S. Annoyed with Twilight Haters Girl, you need to calm down. Who cares if they hate Twilight. The fact that anyone hates the movies of books doesn’t change me gooshing over all things Twilight. A true lover of everything Twilight would never give into anyone elses negative energy towards it!

  • Here’s the skinny:

    I am not a Twilight hater. In fact, I gave all three films, particularly Eclipse, good marks. I am merely laughing at Twilight fans’ pain in having to wait so long for Breaking Dawn to hit theaters. It’s all in good fun.

    As for the books, I haven’t read them. I stated that in my post. I’m simply saying that from the plot synopsis of Breaking Dawn, it sounds like Cuckooville. And it also seems like to neat of a bow tied on the franchise. On that note, I don’t begrudge Stephanie Meyer any of her success. Good for her. She found a niche and nailed it. Writers go their whole life trying to do what she did

    One last note: You can criticize someone’s work and not be a hater. You can even still be a fan. You don’t have to love everything about a piece of entertainment, in fact, as a fan, I’d say you have every right to both love and hate it. I call myself a Star Wars fan, but I’d love to kick George Lucas in the balls for what he did with the prequels. Diehard Star Wars kooks call me a bastard because of that, and say I’m not a real fan. I call BS.

    Lastly, Kathy is right: who cares if someone “hates” Twilight? It shouldn’t change your opinion. Sure, it makes you defensive and cranky, but if you’re a true fan, you’ll keep loving it no matter what.

    Thanks for the comments, everybody. Go Team Jacob.

  • I’m not a Twilight hater. I’m a Twilight mocker

  • I loved loved loved the first movie so much, near halfway through it i began slitting my own wrists and applying manscara!

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