Sundance is lame. And I don’t mean that in a general sense– I mean that in the specific way people use attendance to the film festival as a fabricated measuring stick for their own coolness. The “look-at-me-I’m-at-Sundance-and-you’re-not!” types who use their presence among famous film folk as an empty ego boost. Fact is, in the end, unless they’re buying a movie or making a movie that can be purchased and turn a dollar, nobody else cares. In all other aspects, …
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When I was a student at Mount Logan Middle School during the tender years of 1995-1998, I hated it. I (almost) everything about it. But after seeing the trailer for “Diary of a Wimpy Kid“, I want to go back. I want to relive it, because now I FINALLY realize how meaningless and stupidly funny it all was. We’ve needed a movie like this for a long time. Honestly, cinemadromes have been devoid of juvenile junior high-level humor since the …
So three weeks ago on the KVNU Movie Show I stupidly claimed Avatar would be hard pressed to beat Titanic’s longstanding box office record of $600,788,188 and wouldn’t even come close to the iceberg-doomed ship’s grip on the all-time worldwide box office of $1,842,879,955. Sure it was making some noise in December, but recent box office trends suggested it would drop by 50% or more in consecutive release weeks. I was confident in my opinion. Color me corrected. As, Tyler …
Andy, three weeks ago: “Avatar has no chance of upending Titanic.” Andy, two weeks ago: “It’s very unlikely that Avatar will replace Titanic as the top grossing movie of all time.” Andy, one week ago: “Avatar could beat Titanic.” Andy, today: “Pwned.” The socialist Canadian Broadcasting Company reports: James Cameron’s 3-D blockbuster Avatar has toppled one of the many records set by his earlier epic, Titanic. Kapuskasing, Ont.-born Cameron’s science fiction extravaganza spent a sixth consecutive week atop box offices …
On KVNU’s Movie Show Friday night, Andy and Dan delivered a brief preview of the biggest movies that will come to theaters (unless the movies, you know, make you think, in that case Westates won’t bring them to Logan) in 2010. One of the movies they mentioned, the remake of “Red Dawn,” reminded me to start doing a little Googling to find morsels of information about the updating of the 1984 Cold War thriller that made every teenage boy in …
Dear Lord in Heaven, between this and the MacGruber trailers I’ve pissed myself twice this week. All I can say is this: “What she means is that she works at the ski rental place. Right? And that’s her job is cleaning the poles.” “I could be off, but I think it’s in reference to blowin’ a dude.” Also, just to clarify, red band means restricted which translates to swearing and nudity. You have been warned.
Apparently the DVD and Blu-ray release of Avatar will have an extended sexytime scene between Jake Sully and Neytiri where, I’m guessing, we see their ponytail USB ports link up in the heat of passion. At any rate, I saw this cartoon at The Movie Blog today and laughed so hard Red Bull squirted out of my nose. Let me caution you: This is so very wrong and I am ashamed I laughed. But yeah. Spot on. Oh, and if …
I’m a sucker for visual/art/production design. Which explains why Andy’s correctly dubbed me a Bluray whore and why on Tuesday Pandorum (review here) made off with $20 of my hard-earned stripping dollars, why I periodically revisit the vile Alien: Resurrection and why The Spirit is shaming Spider-Man 3 and Starship Troopers on my Bluray shelf. It’s also why, whether Tron Legacy will be good or bad, I get all slobbery when I think forward (way, way off in the distance …